比較簡單的英語笑話閱讀

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。下面是小編整理的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.""Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher."Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

　　麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢裡觀一場球賽。”“為什麼它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。

　　篇二

　　A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.

　　有一位警官把一個在車道上穿進穿出，迂迴蛇行的男子攔到路邊。

　　He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

　　他走到這名男子的車窗旁邊說：“先生，我要你對著這個酒精測試管吹一口氣。”

　　The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."

　　這名男子說：“對不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是個氣喘病患者呀。如果我吹的話，我就會真的患很嚴重的氣喘病。”

　　"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

　　“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局進行血液檢驗。”

　　"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."

　　“我也能抽血檢驗呀。我是個血友病患呀。如果我抽血檢驗，我就會流血過多而死呀。”

　　"Well ,then we need a urine sample."

　　“嗯，那我們就要你進行尿液檢驗吧。”

　　"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."

　　“對不起呀 ，警官，我也不能驗尿呀。我也是一個糖尿病患者呀。如果我驗尿的話，我的血糖就真的會變得很低。”

　　"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

　　“好吧，那我要你出來到這邊，走這條白線。”

　　"I can't do that,officer."

　　“警官，我辦不到呀。”

　　"Why not? "

　　“為什麼辦不到?”

　　"Because I am too drunk to do that."

　　“因為我喝得太醉了，所以不能那麼做呀。”

　　篇三

　　A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by aman who asked advice on how to hanle his ulcer.

　　有一位醫生和一位律師出席一場雞尾酒會，當時有一名男子走近這位醫生詢問有關如何處理他的潰瘍的忠告。

　　The doctor mumbled some medical advice,then turned to the lawyer and asked,

　　這位醫生就咕嚕咕嚕說了一些醫療上的忠告，然後轉向這位律師。

　　"How do you handled the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"

　　並問他：“當你在社交宴會場合中被人詢間忠告的時候，你都怎麼處理這個情形呢?”

　　"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.

　　這位律師回答說： “就寄出一張聽取忠告的賬單呀”。

　　On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issues the ulcer-stricken man a $50account.

　　下一天早上，這位醫生來到他的診療窒;開出一張五十元賬單給這名罹患潰瘍的男子。

　　That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.

　　而在那天下午他竟然就收到一張從律師那裡寄來的一百元賬單。

　　篇四

　　"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

　　"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

　　“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。

　　“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”