英語幽默小短文欣賞

　　幽默帶來悟力和寬容，冷嘲則帶來深刻而不友善的理解。小編整理了英語幽默小短文，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語幽默小短文篇一

　　A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

　　一隻瞎眼的兔子和一隻瞎眼的蛇相遇了。它們倆都知道自己是什麼動物，但不知道對方是什麼，於是它們都決定試試對方

　　The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

　　兔子說：“你先摸摸我。”蛇同意了，它摸了一下兔子。

　　He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."

　　蛇說：“額，你全身都有皮毛，有一個小棉球似的尾巴，耳朵很長，後腿很粗壯…”

　　The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.

　　兔子說，“我知道!我是隻兔子!耶!”然後兔子摸了一下蛇。

　　He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."

　　兔子說，“好吧，你長長的細細的，全身都滑溜溜的，還有一根分叉的舌頭…”

　　The snake says, "Oh no! I'm a lawyer."

　　蛇說：“不!我是個律師”

　　英語幽默小短文篇二

　　A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

　　一位職業獵人帶著妻子和岳母一塊去遊獵。一個傍晚，叢林深處，夫人突然發現母親不見了。她堅持兩個人都要努力去找到母親。

　　The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

　　獵人拿起了他的來福，喝了一大口威士忌，開始找人。在營地不遠處，他們看到了一個令人震驚的地方：岳母背對著一大叢灌木，一隻雄獅正看著她。

　　The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

　　夫人哭道：“我們該怎麼辦?”

　　"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

　　“沒什麼”，獵人丈夫說道，“獅子自己走進這麼亂的地方的，讓他自己出來吧。”

　　英語幽默小短文篇三

　　A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

　　一個男人搖搖晃晃地走進了急診室，兩個眼睛是青的，脖子上有明顯的五指印。

　　Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

　　醫生問他發生了什麼。“額，是這樣的，”這個人說。“我和我老婆來了幾局高爾夫，她把球打到一個牛群裡。”

　　"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

　　“我們去找這個球，我四下搜尋，發現一頭牛的屁股後面有個白色的東西。”

　　"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

　　“我走過去，舉起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中間。然後我犯了一個錯誤。”

　　"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

　　“你幹嘛了?”醫生問。

　　"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

　　“額，我舉起了牛的尾巴，對我老婆喊道，'這個好像是你的!'”