父母給女兒一封信
人生很重要的目的就是追求生活的幸福,父母安好便是孩子最大的幸福。下面小編整理了,供你參考。
篇一
親愛的女兒:
下午班主任周老師來電話,說週一學校開部分家長會,座談一下孩子的成長與教育,問我可否參加。爸爸真想參加這樣的活動,但的確週一有好多事,只好遺憾地推辭了,也覺得很可惜。但是既然有了這個題目,爸爸不想偷懶,把想說的話粗略地列了個綱,一些想法與你分享。
***一*** 關於人生觀和世界觀。
我剛上中學就有一門課叫《科學人生觀》,就是講我們應當如何看待自己的一生。人的一生就象是那些揚帆遠航好久以後才被告知了目的地的船長和水手,開始我們總是不知所措,根本沒有考慮目標的問題。這是正常的。但到了一定年齡,具備了一些認識基礎之後,就應該找一個高一點的視角察看和規劃一下自己的人生了。這樣,日子過起來才不會渾渾噩噩,稀裡糊塗。爸爸不希望你成為那些旅途靠岸後還不知道自己在哪、究竟要到哪裡去的船長和水手。
人生的規劃簡單地講應當包括兩點:一是在方向上,要有一個高遠的理想,始終向著這樣一個理想努力。要知道這個理想不是一成不變的,它會隨著你認識的豐富而發展;這個理想也不一定能夠達到,可能從你的位置到理想的那端,路很遠,很曲折,也很漫長。但不論什麼時候,都要懷揣理想,永不放棄理想。
二是在方式上,要有自己的行為原則,什麼事能夠做,什麼事不能夠做,要給自己立一個標準,始終不喻地堅定維護。康德說,這世上最可敬畏的有兩樣東西,那就是我頭頂上的星空和我心中的道德。只不過我把它們表述為理想和原則,意思都差不多,它們應當始終如一伴人一生。至於說你應當樹立什麼樣的理想和行為原則,那是需要你決定的事情,不過爸爸很願意與你探討。
***二*** 關於幸福的生活。
人生很重要的目的就是追求生活的幸福,那些不懂得追求幸福的人是可憐和可悲的。爸爸認為,幸福生活主要不在於外界環境對自己的反饋,而更多地在於內在自身的狀態。所以說獲取幸福是人的很重要的一種能力。比如說孤獨和忙碌是很讓人厭煩的,但有的人卻能樂觀地品味孤獨和從容地享受忙碌,就體現了人的心理調節能力不同。
爸爸覺得人生的幸福主要從這幾方面來:一是親情。爸爸媽媽爺爺奶奶那樣愛你,你在家裡感覺那樣的溫馨,你一定會覺得幸福。以後你會有自己的家,自己的朋友和親人,你應當學習建設性地構造和呵護能夠給你幸福的脈脈親情。這些親情所給你的幸福感是相伴與生的。
二是成就。爸爸一位同事在本子上寫了句座右銘“幸福就是每天都有成就感。”寫得真好,那麼簡單、準確、清晰。學習也好,工作也好,事業也好,每次的積累,每次的提升,都是幸福的源泉。
第三方面我覺得表述有點困難,能理解多少算多少吧。第三方面我覺得是幸福源於自然***暫且這麼說***。我們知道,人的一生並不會總是有所收穫,有所成就,並不會總是沉浸於一種良好的狀態。我說人生總會有一個拐點。在這個拐點之前,生命的主題是收穫,是出征,是成長。從出生開始,我們有了生命,親人,知識,健康,家庭,事業…… 但是,萬物總是有它的規律,在某個拐點之後呢,生命的主題就變了,變成失去、迴歸、衰老和死亡。我們獲得一切都會慢慢失去,事業,健康,親人,乃至生命,這是自然的規律,不用迴避。這個生命迴歸的過程那麼讓人沮喪,那麼在個過程中我們的幸福感在哪裡呢?我說就是自然,這個“自然”既然是抽象的規律,也是具體的萬物。爸爸有時會到海邊去,狂風怒吼的時候,海上巨浪滔天,感覺人的生命在自然面前真是渺小,生命真是奇蹟。放眼望去,萬物秩序,生生不息,真讓人讚歎。沉下心去,一草一木,一書一字,都能透射出無窮的美麗。在這個自然的身和心的迴歸中,不正是透露著獲取幸福的無盡源泉麼?其實,即使人處在人生和事業高峰的青壯年,也會有低谷和不盡人意的時候。這個時候,偶爾地放眼一下天空,你同樣也會發現,生活本身就是幸福。呵呵,這些想法我自己也沒有把握,不知是否會誤導你。
***三*** 關於你的學習和成績。
你的成績爸爸媽媽一向引以為豪,看到你學習那樣刻苦,爸爸既高興,也有些不安。不安一是擔心你還小不能勞益結合,身體吃不消,眼睛已經開始近視了;二是怕你一頭扎進書本去,唯書本功課為上,放鬆了本應當在你這個年齡具有的合作意識和社交能力;三是擔心被動地啃書本,附和的久了,泯滅了自己的個性和創造。也許我多慮了。
在分數和名次的問題上,不管是班級第一還是年級第一,能努力爭取總不是壞事。但學習的目的不是第一,不是“NO.1”;而是“Only one”。第一隻體現了被動的接受,任何人都能拿第一。而“唯一”則不同了,它體現了你的能動地創造,顯示了一種不可替代性。在學校你可能感覺不深,現在的社會競爭激烈,人走到社會上立足的資本就是你的創造力和不可替代性,這才能充分彰顯你的價值。哪怕是一個很小的領域,你是唯一和不可替代的,都是很值得重視的。
七零八落寫了這麼多,真是挺煩人的,也只能在紙面上看看而已,倘若照著說出來,真是夠乏味和無趣的。最後祝你幸福健康。
父字
12月7日夜
篇二
Dear Daughter:
親愛的女兒:
As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.
當我們開車駛出哥倫比亞大學的時候,我想寫一封信給你,告訴你盤旋在我腦中的想法。
First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.
首先,我想告訴你我們為你感到特別驕傲。進入哥倫比亞大學證明你是一個全面發展的優秀學生,你的學業、藝術和社交技能最近都有卓越的表現,無論是你高中微積分第一名,時尚的設計,繪製的球鞋,還是在“模擬聯合國”的演說,你毫無疑問已經是一個多才多藝的女孩。你的父母為你感到驕傲,你也應該像我們一樣為自己感到自豪。
I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that “father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief ***she finally fell asleep!*** and regret ***wishing I could hold you longer***. And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.
我會永遠記得第一次將你抱在臂彎的那一刻,一種新鮮激動的感覺瞬間觸動了我的心,那是一種永遠讓我陶醉的感覺,就是那種將我們的一生都聯結在一起的“父女情結”。我也常常想起我唱著催眠曲輕搖你入睡,當我把你放下的時候,常常覺得既解脫又惋惜,一方面我想,她終於睡著了!另一方面,我又多麼希望自己可以多抱你一會兒。我還記得帶你到運動場,看著你玩得那麼開心,你是那樣可愛,所有人都非常愛你。
You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.
你不但長得可愛,而且是個特別乖巧的孩子。你從不吵鬧、為人著想,既聽話又有禮貌。當你三歲我們建房子的時候,每個週末十多個小時你都靜靜地跟著我們去運建築材料,三餐在車上吃著漢堡,唱著兒歌,唱累了就睡覺,一點都不嬌氣不抱怨。你去上週日的中文學習班時,儘管一點也不覺得有趣,卻依然很努力。我們做父母的能有像你這樣的女兒真的感到非常幸運。
You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.
你也是個很好的姐姐。雖然你們姐妹以前也會打架,但是長大後,你們真的成為了好朋友。妹妹很愛你,很喜歡逗你笑,她把你當成她的榜樣看待。我們開車離開哥大後,她非常想你,我知道你也很想她。世界上最寶貴的就是家人。和父母一樣,妹妹就是你最可以信任的人。隨著年齡的增長,你們姐妹之間的情誼不變,你們互相照應,彼此關心,這就是我最希望見到的事情了。在你的大學四年,有空時你一定要常常跟妹妹視訊聊聊天,寫寫***。
College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question “what good is this course”. I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you : “education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten”. What I mean by that is the materials taught isn’t as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about – this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn’t critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.
大學將是你人生最重要的時光,在大學裡你會發現學習的真諦。你以前經常會問到 “這個課程有什麼用”,這是個好問題,但是我希望你理解:“教育的真諦就是當你忘記一切所學到的東西之後所剩下的東西。”我的意思是,最重要的不是你學到的具體的知識,而是你學習新事物和解決新問題的能力。這才是大學學習的真正意義——這將是你從被動學習轉向自主學習的階段,之後你會變成一個很好的自學者。所以,即便你所學的不是生活裡所急需的,也要認真看待大學裡的每一門功課,就算學習的技能你會忘記,學習的能力是你將受用終身的。
Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don’t believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely “black and white”, and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called “critical thinking”, and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said “I don’t agree with you, but I’ll support you.” After the years, I have learned this isn’t just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.
不要被教條所束縛,任何問題都沒有一個唯一的簡單的答案。還記得當我幫助你高中的辯論課程時,我總是讓你站在你不認可的那一方來辯論嗎?我這麼做的理由就是希望你能夠理解:看待一個問題不應該非黑即白,而是有很多方法和角度。當你意識到這點的時候,你就會成為一個很好的解決問題者。這就是“批判的思維”——你的一生都會需要的最重要的思考方式,這也意味著你還需要包容和支援不同於你的其他觀點。我永遠記得我去找我的博士導師提出了一個新論題,他告訴我:“我不同意你,但我支援你。”多年後,我認識到這不僅僅是包容,而是一種批判式思考,更是令人折服的領導風格,現在這也變成了我的一部分。我希望這也能成為你的一部分。
Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don’t be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement , he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don’t worry too much about what job you will have, and don’t be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s not useful.” :*** Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.
在大學裡你要追隨自己的激情和興趣,選你感興趣的課程,不要困擾於別人怎麼說或怎麼想。史蒂夫•喬布斯曾經說過,在大學裡你的熱情會創造出很多點,在你隨後的生命中你會把這些點串聯起來。在他著名的斯坦福畢業典禮演講中,他舉了一個很好的例子:他在大學裡修了看似毫無用處的書法,而十年後,這成了蘋果Macintosh裡漂亮字型檔的基礎,而因為Macintosh有這麼好的字型檔,才帶來了桌面出版和今天的辦公軟體***例如微軟Office***。他對書法的探索就是一個點,而蘋果Macintosh把多個點聯結成了一條線。所以不要太擔心將來你要做什麼樣的工作,也不要太急功近利。假如你喜歡日語或韓語,就去學吧,儘管你的爸爸曾說過那沒什麼用:***盡興地選擇你的點吧,要有信念有一天機緣來臨時,你會找到自己的人生使命,畫出一條美麗的曲線。
Do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors. So please don’t give yourself pressure。During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry ***did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?***. Please don’t be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.
在功課上要盡力,但不要給自己太多壓力。你媽媽和我在成績上對你沒什麼要求,只要你能順利畢業並在這四年裡學到了些東西,我們就會很高興了。即便你畢業時沒有獲得優異的成績,你的哥倫比亞學位也將帶你走得很遠。所以別給自己壓力。在你高中生活的最後幾個月,因為壓力比較小,大學申請也結束了,你過得很開心,但是在最近的幾個星期,你好像開始緊張起來。***你注意到你緊張時會咬指甲嗎?***千萬別擔心,最重要的是你有在學習,你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成績只不過是虛榮的人用以吹噓和慵懶的人所恐懼的無聊數字而已,而你既不虛榮也不慵懶。
Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success – that I am genuine with people and trust them ***unless they do something to lose my trust***. Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters – to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder.
最重要的是在大學裡你要交一些朋友,快樂生活。大學的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友,因為在大學裡你和朋友能夠近距離交往。另外,在一塊兒成長,一起獨立,很自然地你們就會緊緊地系在一起,成為密友。你應該挑選一些真誠誠懇的朋友,跟他們親近,別在乎他們的愛好、成績、外表甚至性格。你在高中的最後兩年已經交到了一些真正的朋友,所以儘可以相信自己的直覺,再交一些新朋友吧。你是一個真誠的人,任何人都會喜歡跟你做朋友的,所以要自信、外向、主動一點,如果你喜歡某人,就告訴她,就算她拒絕了,你也沒有損失什麼。以最大的善意去對人,不要有成見,要寬容。人無完人,只要他們很真誠,就信任他們,對他們友善。他們將給你相同的回報,這是我成功的祕密——我以誠待人,信任他人***除非他們做了失信於我的事***。有人告訴這樣有時我會被佔便宜,他們是對的,但是我可以告訴你:以誠待人讓我得到的遠遠超過我失去的。在我做管理的18年裡,我學到一件很重要的事——要想得到他人的信任和尊重,只有先去信任和尊重他人。無論是管理、工作、交友,這點都值得你參考。
Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.
要和你高中時代的朋友保持聯絡,但是不要用他們來取代大學的友誼,也不要把全部的時間都花在老朋友身上,因為那樣你就會失去交新朋友的機會了。
Start planning for your summers early – what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you.
你還要早點開始規劃你的暑假——你想做什麼?你想呆在哪兒?你想學點什麼?你在大學裡學習是否會讓你有新的打算?我覺得你學習藝術設計的計劃很不錯,你應該想好你該去哪兒學習相應的課程。我們當然希望你回到北京,但是最終的決定是你的。
Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat – this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life – that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you’ll love it!
不管是暑假計劃,功課規劃,抑或是選專業,管理時間,你都應該負責你的人生。過去不管是申請學校、設計課外活動或者選擇最初的課程,我都從旁幫助了你不少。以後,我仍然會一直站你身旁,但是現在是你自己掌舵的時候了。我常常記起我生命中那些令人振奮的時刻——在幼兒園決定跳級,決定轉到電腦科學專業,決定離開學術界選擇Apple,決定回中國,決定選擇Google,乃至最近選擇創辦我的新公司。有能力進行選擇意味著你會過上自己想要的生活。生命太短暫了,你不能過別人想要你過的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感覺,試試吧,你會愛上它的!
I told your mom I’m writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: “just ask her to take care of herself.” Simple but deeply caring – that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself – that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don’t feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.
我告訴你媽媽我在寫這封信,問她有什麼想對你說的,她想了想,說“讓她好好照顧自己”,很簡單卻飽含著真切的關心——這一向是你深愛的媽媽的特點。這短短的一句話,是她想提醒你很多事情,比如要記得自己按時吃藥,好好睡覺,保持健康的飲食,適量運動,不舒服的時候要去看醫生等等。中國有句古語,說“身體髮膚,受之父母,不敢毀傷,孝之始也”。這句話的意思用比較新的方法詮釋就是說:父母最愛的就是你,所以照顧好自己就是孝順最好的方法。當你成為母親的那天,你就會理解這些。在那天之前,聽媽媽的,你一定要好好照顧自己。
College is the four years where you have:
• the greatest amount of free time
• the first chance to be independent
• the most flexibility to change
• the lowest risk for making mistakes
So please treasure your college years – make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.
大學是你自由時間最多的四年。
大學是你第一次學會獨立的四年。
大學是可塑性最強的四年。
大學是犯錯代價最低的四年。
所以,珍惜你的大學時光吧,好好利用你的空閒時間,成為掌握自己命運的獨立思考者,發展自己的多元化才能,大膽地去嘗試,通過不斷的成功和挑戰來學習和成長,成為融匯中西的人才。
When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said “bonne chance”, which means “good luck” and “good courage”. Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.
當我在2005年面對人生最大的挑戰時,你給了我大大的擁抱,還跟我說了一句法語“bonne chance”。這句話代表“祝你勇敢,祝你好運!”現在,我也想跟你說同樣的話,bonne chance,我的天使和公主,希望哥倫比亞成為你一生中最快樂的四年,希望你成為你夢想成為的人!
Love,
Dad ***& Mom***
愛你的,
爸爸***和媽媽***
篇三
親愛的孩子:
今天是你12週歲生日,生命的第一輪過完了,不禁感嘆時光飛逝啊!12年前的今天,一聲嘹亮的哭聲向大家宣佈你來了。你的到來給初為人父母的我們帶來了不少的麻煩,也帶來無盡的歡樂。沒有你小時候的哭鬧***嗓門大的隔幾棟樓的小區居民都受影響***,沒有你咿呀學唱《大長今》、《兩隻蝴蝶》《老鼠愛大米》……,沒有你5歲時追看超級女聲***作為小玉米的你,決賽當晚媽媽陪著看電視到凌晨***,沒有上學後的你捷報頻傳的成績,沒有你逢年過節給父母精心做的賀卡……爸爸媽媽的人生該多單調啊!謝謝你,親愛的孩子,是你讓我們享受到無以倫比的天倫之樂,是你讓我們的生活更多色彩,是你讓我們的生命更完整!
孩子,12歲的你已是亭亭玉立的大姑娘***近1.7米的個頭,早就把老媽甩到後面了***,知識面越來越豐富,見解也越來越深刻。回顧這些年我們對你的教育,獨立能力的培養是我們一直非常重視的。儘管不能說盡善盡美,但也足以讓我在這個特殊的日子總結一下,作為一份特殊的生日禮物,為今後你的成長我們的教育借鑑。
一、獨立學習的能力
孩子,2006.9你揹著書包正式成為一名小學生了。從你上學的第一天起,我和你爸就商量你的學習你做主,我們千萬不能事無鉅細地包辦,尤其不能像很多家長那樣陪讀。比如孩子做作業家長坐在旁邊監督或指導,這些我們都沒有。而是告訴你現在你是小學生了,從做學生的第一天起,你自己的學習你自己負責,作業、考試等學習方面的事你自己獨立完成,就連家默我們也讓你自己搞定。由於孩子小,事先我們做家長的也告訴孩子正確的方法,不可一股腦兒全丟給孩子,有時孩子的能力還不能勝任,這時家長就應該及時指點下。比如家默吧,相信很多父母孩子一路走來陪孩子家默了不少。我們的方法是告訴孩子先自己背熟,然後3-5個詞一組一組默,無論語文還是英語默寫都可用此法。我們很欣慰地是孩子你這方面做的非常好,獨立學習能力很強。孩子的獨立學習能力可以說貫穿孩子整個小、中學甚至終身學習方面,只有擁有了獨立自主的學習能力,孩子才能飛的更高更遠!
二、獨立做事的能力
首先要檢討一下,這方面我們父母做的不夠好。我們也像大多數父母那樣,生活方面包攬的太多,以至於剝奪孩子獨立做事的機會,久而久之,孩子就易養成懶惰的習慣,不愛做事。比如,小時候吃飯挑食,體質弱,易生病。為了讓你多吃點,增強體質,奶奶就經常餵飯,以至於現在你在吃飯方面仍很慢,挑食的毛病仍有。還有家務事方面,好多都是我們父母做了,我們也像大多數父母那樣,覺得孩子功課多,沒時間做家務,時間久了孩子就沒做家務的習慣了。孩子,這方面我們一起努力,慢慢學著做些力所能及的家務事。為了鍛鍊你的做事能力,這個暑假,你獨立地為我們做了一天飯,包括去菜場買菜、回來擇菜、洗菜、炒菜等。還有生日前一天,你自己組織幾個要好的同學去閔行體育公園玩。從聯絡、自己乘車、吃午飯等都是你自己解決。由於公交不熟,一路走一路問,大太陽下徒步走了一個多小時到達目的地。我聽著你回來的彙報,看著你晒的發紅的臉、胳膊,覺得很心疼。但是想想通過獨立做事,你的能力會越來越強的。我非常欣慰,孩子,你的潛力是很大的,只要今後有意識的多鍛鍊,一定會做的更出色!
三、獨立承擔責任的能力
作為父母,習慣教授孩子這樣是可以的,那樣是不可以的,恨不得把一輩子的經驗全教給孩子。父母的願望是美好的,希望自己的孩子在人生的道路上少走彎路,少吃點虧。這種看似無微不至的關懷,實際上是妨礙了孩子的成長。老是由父母來告訴你什麼是可能的,什麼是不可能的,而不能讓孩子自己去體驗,自己去承擔體驗後的結果。久而久之,孩子就缺乏想像力,缺乏創造力,更缺乏承擔責任的能力。如果孩子的成長都是在父母把結果直接灌輸給孩子,而不是讓孩子自己去體驗,實際上這是剝奪了孩子承擔責任的機會。結果導致孩子沒有責任心,也沒有承擔責任的能力。
孩子,隨著你日漸長大,我們會給你更多的機會去嘗試,會放手讓你自己去體驗生命的酸甜苦辣。但請記住,一定要對自己的行為負責,一定要做個用於承擔責任的人。孩子,海闊憑魚躍天高任鳥飛,在這個自由的天空,插上你夢想的翅膀獨立地飛吧,我們永遠祝福你!
愛你的媽媽
9.20
一位母親對孩子說的話