英式幽默笑話

　　話在文體上即文學樣式上屬於小說,因為它和小說“血緣”關係最近。笑話具有的娛樂功能是其首要功能。笑話雖小,但它含有極強的語言表達技巧和人類的高超智慧。下面是小編帶來的英式幽默搞笑笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　英式幽默搞笑笑話篇一

　　Thirstin for Love

　　渴望愛情

　　Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time,

　　沙斯敦經常去他女友的公寓住處，

　　but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.

　　但他總是設法找個理由以免太晚回家。

　　But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep,

　　但這一次，他和女朋友都睡著了，

　　and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to.

　　當他醒來時都已經凌晨兩點了，

　　Thinking fast, he immediately called home,

　　沙斯敦腦筋一轉，立刻打電話回家，

　　and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"

　　當他太太接電話時，他故意喘著氣說：“千萬不要付贖金!我已經安全逃出來了!”

　　英式幽默搞笑笑話篇二

　　And Where Did You Meet Your Wife?

　　你在哪裡遇到你太太呢?

　　Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time.

　　兩個熟識的朋友剛好同時在理髮店內刮鬍子。

　　After the barbers had finished,

　　理髮師刮完他們的鬍子後，

　　each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.

　　兩人都被問到要不要在臉上抹上一些刮鬍子後所使用的香水。

　　"No, no," answered the first man.

　　“不，不，”第一個先生說。

　　"My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse. "

　　“我太太會以為我去過妓院。”

　　"Go ahead," said the other.

　　“我沒關係，”另一個先生說道。

　　"My wife has never been in a whorehouse ! "

　　“我太太從沒在妓院待過!”

　　英式幽默搞笑笑話篇三

　　A Touching Farewell

　　一個感人的告別

　　Two old friends were out golfing.

　　兩個老朋友出外打高爾夫球。

　　As they were preparing to tee off near a road,

　　當他們在一處路旁準備開球時，

　　a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.

　　一列出殯送葬車隊恰巧經過那裡，其中一位朋友脫去帽子放在胸前，直到車隊通過後才戴上帽子。

　　"Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner.

　　“你這樣做實在很有禮貌，”他的同伴說道。

　　"Oh, it was the least I could do.

　　“喔，那隻不過是我最起碼所能做的事了。

　　After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "

　　畢竟，到下星期二我們結婚就滿三十年了。

　　英式幽默搞笑笑話篇四

　　A Half-price Ticket

　　半價票

　　"How much is the movie ticket?"

　　“電影票多少錢一張?”

　　"Ten dollars, kid."

　　“10美元，孩子。”

　　"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."

　　“我只有5美元。請讓我進去吧，我只用一隻眼睛看。”

　　英式幽默搞笑笑話篇五

　　Failure in a Test

　　考試不及格

　　Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?

　　媽媽:這次測試你為什麼得這麼低的分?

　　Kid: Because of absence.

　　孩子:因為缺考。

　　Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?

　　媽媽：你的意思是考試那天你沒去?

　　Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

　　孩子:不是，是坐在我旁邊的孩子沒來。