輕鬆幽默故事三則

　　笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　輕鬆幽默故事：天國醫生

　　A doctor died and went to heaven. When he got to the gates, he found that there was a long line to get in. He went to the front of the line and told the angel that since he was a doctor and that doctors are important people, he should be allowed to bypass the line and go right in.

　　一個醫生死後升入了天堂，當他到達門口的時候發現那裡已經排了很長的隊伍。他走到隊前詢問天使既然自己是個醫生，而醫生又是很重要的人，所以他應該可以不用排隊就直接進去。

　　The angel replied: "Up here, everyone is equal. Now, please go to the end of the line and wait your turn.” The doctor grumbled but did what was requested. After a while, someone with a white smock and stethoscope walked right past the line and straight in. The doctor ran right back to the angel and said: "Hey, how come you let that doctor right in and not me” The angel replied : "That' s not a doctor; that is God playing Doctor.”

　　天使回答說:“得了，這裡人人都一樣，回去排隊。”醫生雖有一肚子怨言，可是還是按照天使說的做了。過了一會兒，一個身穿白大褂，脖子上還掛著聽診器的人穿過隊伍徑直走了進去。那個醫生又跑到天使跟前問:“嘿，你怎麼能讓那個醫生進去而不讓我進去呢!”天使回答:“他不是醫生，他是上帝假扮成的醫生。”

　　輕鬆幽默故事：蘇格蘭人和售票員

　　A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.

　　一個蘇格蘭人拎著一個很大的箱子，在開往倫敦的公交車上，這輛車已經行駛了五英里了。他時刻都想著避開售票員逃票。

　　Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles一that’ll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase.”

　　後來售票員還是發現了他，叫他補票。“你已經坐了五英里了，5O便士，你的箱子還要交10便士。”

　　The Scotsman responds: "I haven’t, I want to have a penny fare，just got on this very moment.” They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.

　　那個蘇格蘭人答道:“我沒有，我剛剛才上來，我想只掏一便士的車錢。”於是他們開始吵了起來，售票員越聽越生氣。最後當車子行駛到倫敦大橋時他抓起蘇格蘭人的那個大箱子順著車窗扔了出去。

　　It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket一but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny.”

　　箱子掉進了河裡沉了下去。那個蘇格蘭人在那裡怔了片刻，然後對售票員說:“你不但想超收我的車錢，還淹死了我的兒子強尼。”

　　輕鬆幽默故事：真沒想到我已經往回跑了這麼遠

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the sol Biers decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?"

　　第一次世界大戰期間、一場大戰役正在進行。槍炮轟鳴、子彈橫飛。這樣持續了一小時後，有個士兵認為戰鬥太危險了，所以他離開前線，開始逃離戰場。走了一個小時後，他看見一個軍官朝他走來。軍官攔住他，問道:“你到哪兒去?”

　　"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that' s going on behind us, sir,” the soldier answered.

　　“長官，我正盡力躲開身後正在進行的戰鬥。”士兵回答說。

　　"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angrily. "I'm your commanding officer.”

　　“你知道我是誰嗎?”軍官生氣地說，“我是你們的指揮官。”

　　The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said , "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already !”

　　士兵聽了十分驚訝地說:“天哪，真沒想到我已經往回跑了這麼遠了!”