跟英語有關的超搞笑笑話

　　隨著中國經濟的發展和與國際社會聯絡日益緊密,中國人對於英語的重視也與日俱增,對於英語學習的狂熱程度愈發高漲。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Caught stealing 預算超標的小偷

　　A shoplifter***商店扒手*** was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelrystore. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook***騙子，壞蛋*** looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

　　一個小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一隻手錶的時候被當場擒獲。“聽著，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這隻表買下，然後我們就當什麼也沒發生，你看怎樣?”

　　經理表示同意，然後列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預算稍稍高了一點，你們還有沒有便宜一點兒東西。"

　　篇二

　　Warning 提醒

　　Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by thedisarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn't you?" I teased.

　　"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"

　　我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學的新生，開學幾個星期之後，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧?”我取笑他。

　　“開什麼玩笑?”，他回答說，“要不我憑什麼費神打掃?”

　　篇三

　　Much Worse 那就更糟了

　　Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　警察：有人搶你的手錶時，你為什麼不呼救呢?

　　男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發現我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　篇四

　　Money and friends

　　A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

　　B: Friends, of course.

　　A: Why?

　　B: I can always borrow money from friends.

　　甲：你認為錢和朋友哪一個更重要?

　　乙：當然是朋友。

　　甲：為什麼?

　　乙：我總可以從朋友那兒借到錢。

　　篇五

　　Englishman 一個英國人

　　Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor***走廊*** of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. Nothing, the Englishman answered imperturbably***平靜地*** , It’s simply that my room is on fire.

　　一天晚上，一個英國人從他住的旅店房間裡走出來。來到走廊上，叫旅店的服務員給他拿一杯水來。服務員按他的要求做了。英國人回到了他的房間裡，幾分鐘後他又來到走廊上，讓服務員再給他送一杯水。服務員又給他送了一杯水。每隔幾分鐘。英國人就走出房間重複他的要求。 半小時之後.這位感到驚訝的服務員決定問問房客要這些水乾什麼，英國人不謊不忙地回答：沒什麼.只不過是我的房間裡起火了。