關於英語幽默小笑話大全

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。下面是小編帶來的關於英語幽默小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於英語幽默小笑話篇一

　　The blonde and the farmer

　　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take in their beauty. She noticed the farmer just standing there watching too. She walked up to him asked some questions on raising sheep. She then asked, "If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock, can I have one"? The farmer agreed. She guessed, 387. The farmer said that was correct. So, go take your pick on which one you want. She went into the flock and then to her car. The farmer stopped her, and asked, "If I can guess what your natural hair color is, can I have my DOG back"?

　　關於英語幽默小笑話篇二

　　Perfect Penis

　　There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little

　　girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?"

　　The boy replied, "I don`t know." At that time he hears his mom

　　calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he

　　sees his dad on the couch.

　　He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?"

　　The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a

　　matter of fact this is the perfect penis."

　　The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods.

　　The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis

　　and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches

　　smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

　　關於英語幽默小笑話篇三

　　sandwiches

　　There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex. So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.

　　"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney` it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower."

　　With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney,baloney,baloney" then shouts "pastrami,pastrami,pastrami" and then back to "baloney,baloney,baloney"

　　Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you`re getting mayonaise all over me!"

　　關於英語幽默小笑話篇四

　　A new guy

　　A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

　　Bartender: "Well, FIRST you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can`t make a face while doing it. SECOND, there`s a `gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. THIRD, there`s a woman up-stairs who`s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her.

　　Man: Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won`t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and the requirements get crazier from there.

　　Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where`s that woman with the sore tooth?"

　　關於英語幽默小笑話篇五

　　A short history of medicine

　　"Doctor, I have an ear ache."

　　2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."

　　1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."

　　1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."

　　1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."

　　1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."

　　2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"