有關簡短的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是文化的重要組成部分,通過笑話,我們可以瞭解一個國家的文化內涵。小編精心收集了有關簡短的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關簡短的英語笑話：X-Rated Adult Video Rental

　　A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild, something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

　　She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

　　She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable,and puts the tape in the VCR.

　　To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

　　"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tapebut static," she says.

　　"Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" the clerk replies.

　　"Head Cleaner."

　　有關簡短的英語笑話：I'll Die

　　A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

　　"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

　　"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

　　"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

　　"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

　　The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde.

　　Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

　　有關簡短的英語笑話：A Saint's Spelling Bee

　　A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter.

　　She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?"

　　To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter."

　　The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates.

　　"Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked.

　　"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-o-v-e."

　　St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom.

　　"I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?"

　　St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman to simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done.

　　So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaringaround her when a man approaches the gates. She realizes it is her husband.

　　"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?"

　　Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so drunk when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?"

　　To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first."

　　"What word?" he asked.

　　The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."

　　有關簡短的英語笑話：Meet My Mistress

　　A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutelystunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

　　His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

　　"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

　　"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

　　"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

　　Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

　　"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

　　"That's his mistress," says her husband.

　　"Ours is prettier," she replies.

　　有關簡短的英語笑話：A Polish Joke

　　A blonde was telling her priest a Polish joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

　　"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"