高一爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Three pastors

　　三個牧師的故事

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”

　　：A preacher is buying a parrot

　　一個傳教士在買鸚鵡

　　"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

　　“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。

　　"Oh, absolutely. Its a religious parrot." the storekeeper assures him.

　　“哦，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。

　　"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lordsprayer, and when you pull on the left, he recites the 23rd Psalm."

　　“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦讚美詩”

　　"Wonderful!" says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

　　“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什麼呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　“我會從樹幹上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　：Friend for Dinner

　　請朋友吃飯

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　“什麼?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”

　　I know all that.

　　“這些我全都知道。”

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　“那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯?”

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　“因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”