簡短的超爆笑英語笑話

　　幽默和笑話有概念上的區別,笑話是滑稽言談本身,幽默在這裡則被作為心智和性情層面上的概念來看待。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Problem with gas 放屁的問題

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted***放屁*** at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses***鼻竇*** , let's start working on your hearing."

　　有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上，我在這裡已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”

　　醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”

　　一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”

　　醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”

　　篇二

　　Wait for your salary 你等著發工資吧

　　If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.

　　If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...

　　wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤獨，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要擁抱，我做你的枕頭。

　　如果你想要快樂，我做你的微笑。如果你想要錢……

　　等著發工資吧!

　　篇三

　　Good Points and Bad Points 優缺點

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。為了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”

　　“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。

　　“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”

　　篇四

　　The Great Lion Hunter 偉大的獵手

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping***披蓋*** the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling***凝結***shrieks***尖叫*** coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

　　有個小村莊正為一隻吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這隻野獸。

　　獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只牛然後把頭皮給他。把牛皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

　　半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

　　Jonesie，怎麼了?獅子在哪?村長問。

　　哪有獅子!獵人怒吼道，哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了?