二年級小學生英語笑話

　　幽默笑話是日常生活中常見的現象,被廣泛應用於電視劇、電影、小品和其他娛樂節目中。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

　　篇2

　　節食族

　　Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. “What does she look like?” the clerk asked.

　　My husband said simply, “She just lost ten pounds.

　　”Third door on the left.“ the woman replied with a smile.

　　媽媽為她減肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我們小兩口一起去商場的路上，她別無所談。我們把她送到女內衣部，在那兒分手，但當我們回來找她時，卻找不見她。我想她也許會在試衣室，就問售貨員是否見過我母親。”她長得什麼樣?“這位職員問。

　　我丈夫直截了當地說：”她剛減了十磅。“

　　”左邊第三個門，“女售貨員笑眯眯地回答。

　　篇3

　　Only cash and credit cards

　　When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for

　　a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and

　　number of people.

　　“ Do you take children?” the man asked.

　　“No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards.”

　　只算現金和信用卡

　　一個人打電話給一家汽車旅館詢問房租，旅館的工作人員回答說 房租的多少取決於房間的大小和住客的人數。

　　“小孩兒算不算呢?”那人問道。

　　“不算，先生。”服務員回答，“我們只算現金和信用卡。”

　　篇4

　　更壞的訊息A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

　　“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

　　The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

　　“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

　　The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

　　醫生對病人說，“我有一個壞訊息和一個更壞的訊息。”

　　“哎呦，媽呀!壞訊息是什麼?”病人問。

　　醫生回答，“你只能活不超過24個小時。”“太可怕了”

　　病人說，“還能有什麼比這還糟?”

　　醫生說，“我從昨天開始就一直試圖聯絡你。”

　　篇5

　　A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him.

　　"Pardon me," she said. "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who died recently."

　　"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

　　"Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, would you say 'Goodbye, mother?' It would make me feel so much better."

　　"Sure," answered the young man.

　　As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" Then, as he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127. "How can that be?" he asked. "I only purchased a few things!"

　　The clerk replied, "Your mother said you'd pay for her."

　　一名十六歲少年穿過一個超級市場的時候，他看到一個老太太追隨他。

　　“對不起，”她說。“我很抱歉，如果我的凝望你已使你感到不舒服。只是你看就像我的兒子，他最近去世。”

　　“我很抱歉”，青年男子回答說 ，“有什麼我可以為您做?”

　　“是的，”她說，“當我離開的時候，你會不會說‘再見了，媽媽’呢?這會令我感到好多了。”

　　“當然可以”年輕的男子回答說。

　　在老婦人離開時，他喊道， "再見，媽媽! "然後，他去櫃檯付帳，看到了他的總數是127美元。 "怎麼能這樣" ?他問道。 "我只購買了幾件東西" !

　　櫃檯回答說： "你媽媽說你替她支付。"