簡短爆笑英文笑話欣賞

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,英語笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是簡短爆笑英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　簡短爆笑英文笑話：Bad Shape

　　A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,the doctor

　　called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a

　　very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your

　　husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be

　　pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a

　　nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him

　　with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will

　　only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several

　　times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2

　　months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the

　　husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to

　　die," she replied.

　　簡短爆笑英文笑話：Letters Of Love

　　A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, myboyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

　　A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

　　A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

　　"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

　　簡短爆笑英文笑話：Dead Husband

　　A woman goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

　　"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

　　Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the singleflickering candle, then down at her hands.

　　She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. "Will I be found guilty?"

　　簡短爆笑英文笑話：Dating A Dentist

　　A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

　　The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist."

　　The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure that out?"

　　The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."

　　The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist... How did you figure that out?" The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"

　　簡短爆笑英文笑話：Tatoo Gift

　　It's a couples Anniversary and the woman decides to do something nice for her husband so she goes to a tattoo parlour and says "can I have the initials of my husband tattooed onto myass please? I would like 'b' on one cheek and 'b' on another cheek."

　　After the tattoo is finished she goes home pulls her trousers down and bends over infront of her husband and her husband says "Who's Bob?!."