爆笑英語笑話故事精選

　　英語笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。本文是爆笑英語笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助!

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：我想不到已經往回跑了這麼遠!

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?”

　　“I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered.

　　“Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.”

　　The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”

　　第一次世界大戰期間，一場大戰役正在進行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過了一個小時後，一個士兵認定戰鬥對他來說變得太危險了，所以他離開前線開始逃離戰場。步行了一個小時之後，他看見一個軍官向他走過來。那軍官叫住他說：“你要到哪兒去?”

　　“長官，我正儘可能遠地躲開我們身後正在進行的戰役，”士兵回答說。

　　“你知道我是誰嗎?”軍官生氣地對他說：“我是你的指揮官。”

　　那士兵聽到此話感到非常驚訝，說：“天哪，我想不到我已經往回跑了這麼遠了!”

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：An Urgent Standby Passenger

　　While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment , his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.

　　After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.

　　Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.

　　緊急待機乘客

　　在韓國時，猶他州的州長麥克·史密斯正在漢城機場的要人休息室裡休息。他在等著飛往日本的航班。與此同時，他的新聞祕書、詹妮·維蕾拉，在售票房被告知沒票了。

　　她堅持說要乘此航班，因為她是一位美國的州長的隨員，這樣美國大使館的一位副官介入了。維蕾拉拿到一張待機票並趕在飛機起飛前登了機。

　　略略鎮定後，維蕾拉到機艙前部去告訴史密斯她的經歷。他不在那兒。她後來得知，有人告知州長，他的飛行被一位緊急待機乘客衝撞掉了。這個人就是維蕾拉。

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：What Was It She Wanted?

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?”

　　“Rain.” said the clerk.

　　她要買什麼?

　　一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：“不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。”經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：“當然，馬上就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。”然後經理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼——說我們已經訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現在你說她要買什麼?”

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：In the air

　　Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.

　　"Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."

　　Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but we won't buy anything. "

　　They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt's wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

　　Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

　　"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.

　　Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn't want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

　　"I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn't scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

　　Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

　　The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

　　When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can have her ride free."

　　"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

　　在空中

　　麥特和妻子住在鄉下。麥特很吝嗇，討厭花錢。一天附近的鎮子逢集。

　　“我們去趕集，麥特，”妻子說。“我們很久沒出去了。”

　　麥特想了一會兒。他知道在集市上一定得花錢。最後他說：“好吧，但我不打算花太多錢。我們只看不買。”

　　他們去集市，看看所有可買的東西。有很多東西麥特的妻子想買，但麥特不讓她買。

　　然後在附近的露天場地，他們看到一架小飛機。

　　“有趣的飛行。”海報上寫著，“10分鐘10美元。”

　　麥特從來沒有乘過飛機，所以他想乘一次小飛機。然而他不想付他妻子的票錢。

　　“我只帶了10美元，”他對飛機駕駛員說，“我妻子能免費和我一起乘飛機嗎?”駕駛員沒賣出多少票，所以他說：“我和你做個交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出聲來，她就能免費飛行。”

　　麥特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飛機。

　　飛機起飛了，駕駛員讓飛機做出各種各樣的動作。有一會兒飛機倒著飛行。

　　飛機著陸時，駕駛員說，“好吧，你妻子沒發出任何聲響。她就不用買飛機票了。”

　　“謝謝，”麥特說，“你知道，這對她不容易，特別當她剛才掉下去的時候。”