初一上冊英語小笑話閱讀

　　有時笑話含有一定的道理，在人們解決生活中的困惑時起著重要作用。小編分享初一上冊英語小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　初一上冊英語小笑話：控制女人的男人

　　Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God comes and says "I want the men to make twolines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the menthat were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

　　世上的每一個人都上了天堂 神說 :" 要男人分成兩隊 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一隊 , 跟著聖彼德去 ."

　　Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 mileslong,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.

　　隊伍列好後 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里長 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,僅有一人 .

　　God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my imageand you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up andmade me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one onthat line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

　　神生氣的說 :" 你們男人應該感到羞恥 ,我按照自己的形象創造了你們 ,而你們被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的兒子 ,站著使我驕傲 . 你們應該向他學習 .告訴他們 , 兒子 ,你如何成為唯一站在這一隊上的 ?"這男子回說 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在這的 !"

　　初一上冊英語小笑話：長壽祕訣

　　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

　　一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。

　　"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.

　　“我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，”那女士說。

　　"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

　　“你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?”

　　"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, everexercise."

　　“我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。”

　　"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman.

　　“哦，真神奇，”女士說。

　　"How old are you?"

　　“你高壽?”

　　"Twenty-six."

　　“二十六。”

　　初一上冊英語小笑話：會說話的鐘

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into theden.

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。

　　"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

　　“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他。

　　"That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　　“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with thehammer.

　　“這鐘怎麼工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。

　　Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's twoo'clock in the morning!"

　　突然，他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”