大學英語小笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：親愛的，我也要!

　　We were discussing the "don'ts" of public speaking in the PR class I teach. "Don'ts" include a man reaching into his pant pocket and jangling change as he speaks, which is very distracting. To illustrate my point, I asked for a student volunteer, saying, "I need a man tith coins in his pocket." What I got was a girl yelling out, "Honey,so dol!"

　　在我教的公共關係課上，我們正在討論公共場合講話時"不要做什麼" .其中有一項就是男人在講話的時候，不要把手伸進褲子口袋，把硬幣弄得嘩嘩響。這麼做會分散注意力。為了闡明我的觀點，我要一個學生做示範。我說：“我需要一個男人，口袋裡有硬幣。“結果，一個女孩大叫道：親愛的，我也要!”

　　：一個私人問題

　　At the cashier one busy day the line grew quite long. There was much grumbling among those waiting,but one man made light of the situation. He approached a woman who was obviously' very pregnant and tapped her on the shoulder. "Would you mind my asking a personal question?he said. 'Were you pregnant when you got in this line?_

　　在一個繁忙的日子，收銀員那裡排了很長的隊。排隊等待的人開始發牢騷，只有一名男子顯得比較輕鬆。他走到一個顯然已經懷 孕很久的女人背後，拍拍她的肩膀說："我能不能問你一個私人問題，在你開始排隊的時候有沒有懷孕?"

　　：我能不能借借你的女兒?

　　A woman took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her.The little girl watched her mother try on outfit after outfit, exclaiming each time, "Mommy,you look beautiful !”A woman in the next dressing room called out, "Can l borrow your daughter for a moment?“

　　一位女士帶著她五歲的女兒去購物。小姑娘看著她媽媽一件又一件地試穿衣服，每一次都驚叫道：¨媽媽，你真好看!“在隔壁更衣室的女人喊了起來：“我能不能借你的女兒用一會兒?”

　　：聯邦調查局的案件

　　A case for the FBI

　　The phone rings at FBI headquarters . "Hello?"

　　聯邦調查局總部的電話響了。“ 喂?”

　　"Hello,is this FBI?"

　　“喂，是聯邦調查局嗎?…”

　　"Yes,What do you want?"

　　“是的，有何需要嗎.?”

　　"I am calling to report my neighbor Tom.He is hiding marijuana in his firewood ."

　　“我打電話是要檢舉我的鄰居 湯姆。他在他的木柴中藏匿***。”

　　"This will be noted." Next day,the FBI comes over to Tom's house.

　　“我們會嚴加註意的。”次日，聯邦調查局來到湯姆的家。

　　They search the shed where the firewood is kept,break every piece of wood ,find nomarijuana,swear at Tom and leave .

　　他們搜查了存放木柴的庫房，把木柴劈成一塊一塊，沒有找到太麻，就對著湯姆口出穢言，然後離去。

　　The phone rings at Tom's house.

　　湯姆家的電話響了。

　　" Hey ,Tom! Did the FBI come ?"

　　“喂，湯姆，聯邦調查局有來你家嗎?”

　　"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"

　　“有呀”“他們‘有劈你們家的木柴嗎?”

　　"Yeah,they did."

　　“有呀，他們劈了呀”

　　"OK,now it's your turn to call .I need my garden plowed."

　　“好了，現在換你打電話了，我的菜園需要犁一下啦。”

　　：Lazy Manager

　　懶惰的經理

　　A middle management executive has to take on some sports,by his doctor's ,

　　有一位中階經營主管因為聽了他的醫師指示必須要做一些運動，

　　so he decides to play tennis .

　　所以他決定要打網球。

　　After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing

　　在幾個星期之後，他韻祕書就問他情況如何，

　　"It's going fine" ,the manager says."When I am on the court and I see the ball speedingtowards me ,

　　這位經理說：“進行得不錯，當我在網球場上看到球快速朝著我來的時候，

　　and my brain immediately says,"Back hand!To the net!Smash !Go back"

　　我的腦袋就立刻說：‘反手拍!上網!殺球!後退! ”

　　"Really?What happens then?" the secretary asks .

　　祕書問說：“真的呀，然後嚨?”

　　"Then my bady says ,"Who 、 Me?Don't talk nonsense!"

　　“然後我的身體說：‘誰?我嗎?別胡說八道了!”’