幽默英語笑話短文五則

　　有一句話叫做：非驢非馬就一定是騾子嗎?笑話!小編分享幽默英語笑話短文，希望可以幫助大家!

　　幽默英語笑話短文：爸爸不高興

　　It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." "That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile, "by the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."

　　一個農家小孩好像意外打翻了一車玉米，住在附近的一個農夫聽見了，喊道：“威利斯，先放那吧。過來和我們呆會兒，一會兒我幫你扶起來。”“太好了”，威利斯答道，“但是爸爸會不高興的。”“哎呀，快來吧”，農夫仍然在堅持。“好吧”，小男孩終於點頭答應了，“但是爸爸真的會不高興。”一頓豐盛的晚餐之後，威利斯向農夫表示感謝：“我覺得好多了，但是爸爸肯定很不高興。”“別傻了”，農夫笑著說，“哦，對了，你爸爸在哪了?”“車底下。”

　　幽默英語笑話短文：Mother's intuition

　　I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month-old nephew.

　　I said, "What do I do if he cries?"

　　She said "Give him some vegetables."

　　It turns out that jalapeño is not his favorite...

　　幽默英語笑話短文：Dog with a hurt paw

　　A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.

　　"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.

　　The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, "The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor."

　　"They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?" said the little one.

　　"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.

　　"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl, "and they f**k you every time!"

　　幽默英語笑話短文：Scary collection

　　A Halloween joke

　　Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?

　　Because they're crab apples!

　　A vampire joke

　　What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?

　　A blood hound!

　　A ghost joke

　　What keeps ghouls happy?

　　The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

　　A demon joke

　　What do you call a demon who slurps his food?

　　A goblin!

　　A ghost joke

　　What do you have to take to become a coroner?

　　A stiff exam!

　　A cannibal joke

　　What does a cannibal eat with cheese?

　　Pickled organs!

　　A cannibal joke

　　What did the cannibal say when he was full?

　　''I couldn't eat another mortal!''

　　幽默英語笑話短文：Cry

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"湯姆，你弟弟怎麼了?" 媽媽在廚房裡問。"他在哭。"

　　"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"

　　"他已經吃完自己的了麼?"

　　"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"