關於英文笑話小短文

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Farm jokes

　　What is a cow's favorite TV show?

　　Dr Moo!

　　Why was the farmer hopping mad?

　　Because someone had trodden on his corn!

　　What would happen if bulls could fly?

　　You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!

　　What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?

　　A sheep that's under the weather!

　　Why do cows like being told jokes?

　　Because they like being amoosed!

　　What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?

　　A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!

　　What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

　　A groundhog!

　　How do you take a pig to hospital?

　　By hambulance!

　　What do you call a joke book for chickens?

　　A yolk book!

　　：Fish jokes

　　Where are most fish found?

　　Between the head and the tail!

　　What kind of fish will help you hear better?

　　A herring aid!

　　What do fish sing to each other?

　　Salmon-chanted evening!

　　How does an octopus go to war?

　　Well-armed!

　　Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

　　On squid row!

　　What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?

　　Monkfish!

　　What bit of fish doesn't make sense?

　　The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

　　What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?

　　A fish tank!

　　What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?

　　Tsardines!

　　What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

　　I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

　　：Mouse jokes

　　What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?

　　Mice Krispies!

　　What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?

　　A mouseketeer!

　　What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?

　　Dirty looks from the mouse!

　　What is a mouse's favorite record?

　　'Please cheese me'!

　　What goes eek, eek, bang?

　　A mouse in a minefield!

　　What squeaks as it solves crimes?

　　Miami mice!

　　What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?

　　Mice cubes!

　　What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?

　　Stalagmice!

　　What mouse was a Roman emperor?

　　Julius Cheeser!

　　Who is king of all the mice?

　　Mouse Tse Tung!

　　：Spider jokes

　　Why did the spider buy a car?

　　So he could take it out for a spin!

　　What does a spider do when he gets angry?

　　He goes up the wall!

　　What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?

　　If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

　　Why are spiders good swimmers?

　　They have webbed feet!

　　How do you spot a modern spider?

　　He doesn't have a web he had a website!

　　What are spiders webs good for?

　　Spiders!

　　What kind of doctors are like spiders?

　　Spin doctors!

　　What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

　　I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

　　What did the spider say to the fly?

　　We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing?

　　What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

　　It became a daddy short legs!

　　：It's His Fault 是他的錯

　　Billy and Bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

　　Last Saturday their mother said to them, I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden and be good.

　　Yes, Mummy, the two boys answered, and they went out.

　　They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen. Mummy, he said, Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allen's house. Mrs. Allen was one of their neighbors.

　　He's a bad boy, his mother said. How did he break it?

　　I threw a stone at him, Billy answered, and he quickly moved down.

　　是他的錯

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟，兩人經常打架。

　　上個星期六，他們的媽媽對他們說，我現在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。

　　是，媽媽，兩個男孩回答，然後他們就出去了。

　　他們在花園裡玩了半個小時，然後比利跑進了廚房。媽媽，他說，波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。

　　他是個壞孩子，他的媽媽說，他是怎麼把玻璃打碎的?

　　我朝他扔了一塊石子，比利回答道，他趕緊蹲下。