有趣的英語句子帶翻譯

　　有趣的句子能夠使我們開心起來。你知道哪些嗎?下面是小編為大家準備的一些，歡迎大家參閱，希望大家喜歡。

　　***精選篇***

　　1、 "Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, hestepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.從前有個瞎子。一天，他正在行路時踩著了一隻正在睡覺的狗的腦袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。這人又往前走，這回踩著的是另外一隻狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。瞎子以為還是那條狗，驚詫地說：奇怪，這隻狗可真夠長的。"

　　2、 ""i had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."一個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了一次手術，手術後醫生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體裡了。”"that's terrible!" said the friend. "got any pain?" “真是太糟糕了!”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎?”"no, but i am always thirsty!" “不疼，可是我總感到口渴!”"

　　3、 "Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎麼去拼搏。”朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎麼辦?”丹：“我也會教他怎麼樣賽跑呢。”"

　　4、 "One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.有個女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪...Girl: Father, I have sinned.女孩：神父，我有罪。Preacher: What did you do, little girl?神父：孩子，你犯了什麼罪呢?Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."女孩：昨天，我罵了某個男人一句：“你這個***。”Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?神父：為什麼?他對你做了什麼嗎?Girl: He touched my breast.女孩：他...他摸我的胸部。Preacher: You mean like this? ***The guy did it.***神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?***神父伸手摸女孩的胸部***Girl: ***A little shy from the touch*** Yes.女孩：***因為神父的舉動而有一些害羞***嗯...是的。Preacher: That s no reason to call him that.神父：只是這樣子的話你沒有理由罵他。Girl: But he also took off my cloth.女孩：但是...他又把我的衣服脫掉。Preacher: You mean like this? ***He did it again.***神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?***神父動手脫掉女孩的衣服***Girl: Yes, that s what he did.女孩：是的，是這樣子沒錯。Preac" her: "That s still no reason to call him that.神父：可是這樣子你還是沒有理由罵他。Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...女孩：然後...他把他的...那個...放到我的...那個...裡面...Preacher: ***evil laugh...*** You mean like this? ***And you-know-what***神父：***奸笑貌***你是說像這樣子嗎?***神父和女孩就那個那個了***Girl: ***After a few minutes...*** Ugh... Yeah, that s what he did...女孩：***數分鐘後***喔...是的...就是這樣子...Preacher: My dear girl, that s still no reason to call him a...神父：我親愛的孩子，就算是這樣你還是沒有理由罵他「你這個...」Girl: But he had AIDS!!女孩：但是他有AIDS呀!Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!神父：那個***!!!"

　　5、 "Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.媽媽：約翰尼，我今天早上在櫥子裡放了兩塊點心。現在就剩下一塊了。你能解釋一下嗎?約翰尼：嗯，我想是因為裡面太黑我沒看到另外那塊。"

　　6、 "A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裡，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。"Who are you?" he asked.“你是誰?”丈夫問到。"I'm the Devil!" she responded.“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”"

　　7、 "A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”"

　　8、 "A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”A buing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from 　　Oxford this very evening!”一群學生聚在牛津的校園裡，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個傢伙不收回他今早　　對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支援他、學習他。”突然，一個女孩問道：“那傢伙對你說什麼了，霍波?”他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”"

　　9、 "One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”為題寫一篇作文。所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什麼不寫。“我在等我的祕書”。那孩子答道。"

　　10、 ""What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man."I broke a mirror," he replied."But that means seven years of bad luck.""I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"這難道不好嗎?“你高興什麼?”一個女士問一個98歲的老人。“我打碎了一個鏡子。”他回答。“但那預示著7年的壞運氣。”“我知道。”他高興地說，“這難道不好嗎?”"

　　***熱門篇***

　　1、"A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?" 　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"一群美國人乘長途汽車在荷蘭旅遊。他們在一個乳酪場停下來。一位年輕的導遊帶他們參觀了乳酪製作的全過程，解釋說用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對這些，她解釋說，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產奶。她然後問道：“在美國你們怎樣處理老羊呢?” 　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說：“他們讓我們乘車旅行!”"

　　2、Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply.這是華盛頓的一個陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個來訪的英國人討論城市的流浪兒，英國人詳細地敘述著倫敦式天才的機智。克拉克宣稱，要是對方向華盛頓街上任何一個兒童提任何問題，那孩子都會對答如流。他們便出發了。 “什麼時候了，小兄弟?人們說你能用鼻子報時。” 回答是：“先生，問問你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”

　　3、"The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked."I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied."Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean."No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.農校的招生辦主任在面試一個上線的學生，“你為何要選擇這個職業?”他問。 “我夢想以經營農場來賺一百萬元，就像我父親一樣。”這個學生回答說。 “你父親經營農場賺了一百萬元?”主任驚詫地問道。“沒有，”這位申請人回答道，“他總是夢想著賺到這個數目。”"

　　4、"Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個終生單身漢。他曾追求過很多女孩，但“從不過熱----見好就收”。一天他突發奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時女友。他回來即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒娶那些女人中的任何一個。如今她們都成寡婦了!”"

　　5、"A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes.""Where is the shopping bag?" 　　"I haven't got one-use your hat."一個小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說我腦袋大。” “別聽他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買十斤土豆來。” 　　“購物袋在哪兒?” 　　“沒購物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”"

　　6、"Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的***譯註:在一些國家如英國,其交通規則是車輛左行的,與我國相反***。啊噢，意識到犯了錯誤，我說。我剛才拐彎是違章的。我想那沒關係的，女兒回答說：我們後面的警車也同樣拐了彎。"

　　7、"A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客輕拍了一下出租車司機的肩膀，想問個問題。司機大叫起來，車也失去了控制，幾乎撞上一輛公車，還上了便道，在還差幾釐米就撞上商店櫥窗時終於停了下來。司機說：“夥計，別再這麼幹了。你把我嚇破膽了!”乘客抱歉地說，“我沒想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣。” 司機說：“對不起，也不全是你的錯。今天是我第一天開出租，以前25年裡我一直開殯葬車。”"

　　8、A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".一個竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個喜歡的CD機，他趕緊拿了。就在這個時候他聽到有人說：“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來看去，嘀咕著：“到底是什麼人在說話?”這時，他看到桌子上有些錢，他又拿了。。。那聲音又來了：“耶穌正在看著你。”他躲到一個角落，想找出是誰在說話。結果看到一隻鸚鵡，於是他問鸚鵡：“是你在說話嗎?”鸚鵡承認了。 小賊說：“你叫什麼名字?”“摩西”。小賊說：“什麼人給鳥取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答：“就是那個給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個人啊。”

　　9、"The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一隻眼是假眼，你以前為什麼不告訴我?” “怎麼沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面後，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”"

　　10、"Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"兩個小男孩在他們的祖父母家過夜。睡覺時間到了，這兩個小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著，“我祈求有一輛新自行車……我祈求有一個新遊戲機……我祈求有一個新錄影機……”他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下，說：“你為什麼這麼大聲地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聾子。”弟弟聽了回答道：“上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀!”"

　　11、"At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.在集市上，我和妻子買了一些五金用品，包括一個手鋸。我們返回汽車時剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嚐嚐吧，”我妻子建議說。儘管我覺得拿著鋸有點傻乎乎的，但還是隨她走了進去。 我妻子掃視了一下選單對女招待說：“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉向我，看我的鋸，說道：“我能看出，先生，你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”"

　　12、"One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?""No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."一天，蒂姆的數學老師他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?""不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。""

　　13、"How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?怎麼把口香糖取出來呢當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麼才能把口香糖從耳朵裡面取出來呢?

　　***最新篇***

　　1、"One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.一天下班回家，約翰發現妻子在搖半歲的女兒，嘴裡反覆念道：“爸-爸。”約翰心裡感到美滋滋的，他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個詞首先教孩子。 　　幾周後的一天夜裡，約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，親愛的。”妻子說，然後翻身竟自睡了。"

　　2、"Three Men in a BoatThree men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two."Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends."In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!""Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.三人同舟三位男子在公園的長椅上坐著。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裡弄走。”“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接著就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。"

　　3、A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz.， Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself， saying，“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away，away，”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done， you'll be richer than Iam.”一個窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩賙濟。國王想知道他何以攀認親戚，窮漢回答說，“我們有共同的祖先——亞當和夏娃。”聽了這話，國王就給了他一個小銅子兒。於是窮人開始叫屈，說：“難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這麼一點點錢嗎?”“走開，快走，”國王回答，“如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個銅板，你就比我還有錢了。”

　　4、"When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一隻老虎出現在遠處，向他們衝來。當中的一個人從包裡拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看著他說，“你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”"

　　5、"Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool***毒菌*** ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區別開呢?年長的童子軍：上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。"

　　6、"A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”"

　　7、"Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎。”"

　　8、"After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場著陸後，他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人群上面搖晃。一個頻寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳伕說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”"

　　9、""Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind.""You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins.""啊，可憐的人，"善良的老婦人驚歎道。"腳瘸就夠慘的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。""你說的一點兒沒錯，"那乞丐說。他顯然是乞討老手。"我眼瞎的時候，人們老是給我外幣。""

　　10、"After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。"

　　11、"While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.在購買我的第一部CD唱機時，我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的大多數技術語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗為迷惑，於是我叫過銷售商，問道：‘混合脈衝D/A變換器’是什麼意思?它的意思是，她說，這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數字資訊，將它轉換成聲音資訊-也就是說，轉換成音樂。換句話說，這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。"

　　12、"The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch***故障*** arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron***贊助人，主顧*** was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub***塗抹，塗料*** of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現了問題。霍迪斯發現，完成這幅畫後，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當作品完成之後，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂塗抹的一片鮮紅。這是什麼?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們全都淹死了。"

　　13、"The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.動物園為剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的八英尺高的圍牆。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍牆外面蹦跳著。於是圍牆高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍牆高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認為他們會把圍牆建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開著大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”"

　　14、"Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:″I have known many an instance***例項*** of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裡有他的幾封信。他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個字。他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”"

　　15、"The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."　　The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'.""My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'. 　　" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"四位牧師的母親聚到一起談論她們的兒子。“我的兒子是個教士，”第一位母親自豪地說道，“他進入房間，人們都說，‘您好，閣下’。”第二為母親說：“我的兒子是位主教。他進入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。” “我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說，“他走進房間，人們都說，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說，“他要是走入房間，人們都說‘哦，我的上帝’!”