最搞笑的英語腦筋急轉彎小故事

　　腦筋急轉彎作為一種非正式的娛樂類語言形式，盡現了語言的機智、幽默和靈活性，隨著創造性思維在今天的日益強化，這種智力遊戲也越來越盛行。下面就是小編給大家帶來的，希望大家喜歡!

　　一：

　　英語笑話故事：Shoulda Said

　　This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?"

　　"Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass."

　　"Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse?"

　　"Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

　　"THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!"

　　"Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?"

　　"Ruff!"

　　"What the hell are you tryin' to pull, mister?"

　　"Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?"

　　"Ruth."

　　The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.

　　"Geez. D'ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

　　二：

　　英語笑話故事：Be Careful for What You Wish for

　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

　　一對夫婦結婚已經25年了，正在一起慶祝他們的結婚紀念日和60歲生日。

　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

　　正慶祝時，一位仙女從天而降說25年來他們一直相親相愛，她將實現他們每個人一個願望。

　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

　　妻子說想環遊世界。仙女握住了她的手，只聽轟的一聲。妻子手中出現了各種入場券和票。

　　Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

　　接著就該丈夫許願了。他頓了一下，然後不好意思地說：“嗯，我想要一個比我年輕30歲的妻子。”

　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

　　仙女拿起魔杖，只聽轟的一聲!丈夫變成90歲的老翁了。

　　三：

　　英語笑話故事：Blind Date相親***笑話***

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grimexpression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　和相親物件呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的訊息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地!”他的約會物件說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　四：

　　英語笑話故事：Drink like a fish

　　A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.

　　All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.

　　The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.

　　He asked her, "Why are you staring at me.?"

　　Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour and the table went quiet for her response.

　　The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"

　　五：

　　英語笑話故事：絕配

　　A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

　　Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

　　"Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."

　　一個富有的主婦很是驕傲因為她收藏了一件非常有價值的古董花瓶，於是她決定把臥室粉刷成與花瓶同樣的顏色。許多油漆匠都試圖盡力與花瓶的顏色匹配，但是沒有任何人能做得 讓那古怪的女人滿意的。

　　一個油漆匠很自信他能做到，最終他成功了。那個主婦很滿意，於是這個油漆匠也變得很出名。

　　多年以後，油漆匠要退休了，他把自己的生意交給兒子去經營。“爸爸”兒子問“我還有些事情想知道，你怎麼能把牆粉刷得和花瓶的顏色那麼相配?”“兒子”爸爸回答到“我只不過是把花瓶刷了。”