幽默風趣英語小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：不受歡迎的訪問者

　　A man said to his friend, "I'm bothered with time-wasting callers." His friend said, "Why don't you try my plan to deal with them."

　　"What is it?" he asked. His friend said: "When the bell rings, I put on my hat and gloves before I open the door. If it proves to be someone I don't want to see, I simply say 'So sorry, I'm just going out!'"

　　He asked again: "If it's some one you want to see?" his friend replied: "Oh ,then I say: 'So fortunate, I've just come in.'"

　　有個人對他的朋友說：“一些來訪問的人耗費時間攪得我很惱火呢。”朋友說：“為什麼不試用我的辦法對付這些人呢?”

　　“什麼辦法呀?”他問道。朋友說：“門鈴響的時候，我戴上帽子和手套後再去開門。如果來的是我不想見的人，我就說‘真對不起，我正要出去。’”

　　他又問道：“如果是你想見的人呢?”朋友回答說：“哦，那我就說‘幸好我剛剛回來了。’”

　　：布朗先生和他的汽車

　　Mr.Brown lives in a small town, but then he gets a job in a big city and moves there with hiswife and his two children. On the first Sunday in their new home, Brown takes his new car out of the garage and washes it. A neighbor comes by. When he sees Brown's new car, the neighbor stops and looks at it for a minute. Then Brown turns and sees him.

　　The neighbor says, "That's a nice car. Is it yours?" "Sometimes." Brown answers.

　　The neighbor is surprised. "Sometimes?" he says. "What do you mean?"

　　"Well," answers Brown slowly, "When there is a party in the town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there is a football game somewhere, it belongs to my son, Joe. When I've washes it, and it is really nice and clean, then it belongs to my wife. And when it needsgas, it's mine."

　　布朗先生居住在一個小城鎮裡，但後來在城裡找到了工作並和他的妻子，兩個孩子搬到了城裡。在他搬到新家的第一個星期天，布朗先生把他的小汽車從車庫裡開出來進行沖洗。一位鄰居經過。當他看見布朗先生洗車是，這位鄰居停下來看了一會兒。接著布朗先生轉過身看見了他。

　　鄰居說：“這輛車真漂亮，是你的嗎?”“有時候是。”布朗先生回答。

　　這位鄰居很吃驚。“有時?”他說：“什麼意思?”

　　“哦，”布朗先生慢慢地說：”當城鎮有聚會時，它屬於我的女兒——簡。當哪裡有足球賽是，就屬於我的兒子——喬。當我洗刷好湖，車看起來確實乾淨漂亮，它就屬於我妻子。當需要汽油時，它這時就屬於我了。“

　　：花多少錢?

　　On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued: "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur***招致*** a hefty***重的*** fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

　　在上大學的第一天，院長向學生髮表演說，說明一些規則：“女生的宿舍將會是所有的男生的禁區，男生宿舍對女生也是禁區。任何打破這一條規則的人第一次將會被***20美元。”他繼續說:：“任何人第二次被發現打破這條規則將會被***60美元。第三次被發現的將會招致180美元的重罰。有任何問題嗎?”此時，一位男生問：“那麼進去3個月要花多少錢?”