英語幽默短笑話精選

　　笑話能夠使我們在緊張的工作生活當中獲得一絲的放鬆，想放鬆一下心情的話，下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1：

　　Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."

　　兩條沙丁魚在紐約港游水，其中的一條建議到布朗恩斯***Bronx***去度週末。另一條沙丁魚反對說:“我認為最好不去。要遊的距離太長了。”

　　"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.

　　“那麼從地鐵通道過去怎麼樣?”他的同伴問。

　　"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"

　　“不可能，”第二條沙丁魚說:“難選要像人類那樣到地鐵裡去亂擠嗎?”

　　2：

　　First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."

　　第一個婦女:“工作一整天后還要做家務，可真夠我受的。你看，我回家後要洗衣服、洗碗。明天，我還要擦洗廚房的地板和前門的窗戶……”

　　Second woman:"What about your husband?"

　　第二個婦女:“那你丈夫呢?”

　　First woman:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”

　　第一個婦女:“他絕不用我洗，他自己會洗。”

　　3：

　　I taught a "gifted and talented"class made up of particularly bright fifth-and-sixth graders. In the midst of a lesson on the power of observation, I realized that I was wearing two different styles of shoes. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible，I moved behind my desk and concluded the lesson from there，thankful that the students didn't seem to have noticed.

　　我教的一個“高智商”班的學生全都是五六年級裡挑出來的。有一次上課，當講觀察的能力時，我突然發現自己穿錯了鞋，兩隻鞋一樣一隻。我儘量裝成沒事的樣子，走動的範圍只限於講臺桌的長度，一直到上完課我也沒離開。感謝上帝，學生們看上去什麼都沒發現。

　　The next day，I discovered that my lesson had been learned all too well. Before me sat a class of bright, smiling students—each wearing mismatched shoes.

　　第二天，我才領略到我的課被學生理解得有多麼透徹。坐在我面前的這群聰明、可愛、面帶微笑的學生，他們每個人都穿著不同樣式的兩隻鞋。

　　4：

　　As a real-estate broker, I once listed a house that had several rooms decorated in hot pink. I advised the seller to repaint，and was thrilled when he called to say he had done so. "You were right,"he said. "It looks much better now."

　　我是個房地產商。一次，有所待出售的房子,裡邊的牆被噴成了亮粉色。我向賣主建議把房子重噴一下。沒想到他很快給我回了電話說他已經噴完了，並說:“你說得對，現在房子看上去好多了。”

　　Several days later I showed the house to prospective buyers. We found the interior all freshly painted—in the same shade of hot pink.

　　幾天後，我帶著幾個買主去看房子，發現牆面被粉別一新，不過仍然是亮粉色。