輕鬆英語趣味小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：如此迅速

　　The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he's in his brown suit. She'd specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she'd brought it especially for that occasion, and she was angy that the mortician left him in the same brown suit he'd been wearing when the lightning bolt hit him.

　　She demanded that the corpse be changed into the blue suit she'd brought especially for that purpose. The undertaker said, "But madam! It's only a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin! We can't possibly take him out and get him changed in that amount of time."

　　The lady said, "Who's paying for this?"

　　Seeing the logic to this argument, a very reluctant mortician wheeled the coffin out, but then wheeled it right back in a moment later. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.

　　After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimented the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She especially wanted to know how he'd been able to get her husband into a blue suit so fast.

　　The funeral director said, "Oh, it was easy. It happens that there was another body in the back and he was already dressed in a blue suit. All we had to do was switch heads!"

　　葬禮前，寡婦看了一眼她親愛的丈夫。她驚恐地發現，丈夫穿著他棕色的西裝。她事先特地要求穿壽衣的人給他穿上藍色的西裝。那是她特意為他做的。但令她驚奇的是，穿壽衣的人仍然給他穿著他被雷電擊中時穿的棕色西裝。

　　她要求將遺體換成她特地準備的藍色西裝。穿壽衣的人說："可是女士，只有一二分鐘的時間，葬禮就要開始了。我償不可能在這一二分鐘的時間內將他弄出來換衣服。"

　　這位女士說，"你們還想不想要錢?"

　　明白了這女士的意思，穿壽衣的人很勉強地轉動輪子將棺材升了起來。很快，棺材就滑了回來。真神奇，遺體已經換成了蘭色的西裝。

　　遺體告別儀式後，那位稱心如意的寡婦稱讚穿壽衣的人快速而圓滿地完成了任務。她特別想知道，他怎麼這麼快就將她丈夫換成了蘭色西裝。

　　負責葬禮的人說，“噢，那很容易。碰巧在後面有個遺體穿著蘭色西裝。我們只是換了一下頭而已。”

　　：走私犯

　　The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.

　　"What's in here?" he asked.

　　"Dirt," the driver replied.

　　"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

　　Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

　　A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

　　"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

　　"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

　　Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

　　The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."

　　Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."

　　一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時，驚奇地發現了六個接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。

　　“裡面裝的是什麼?”他問道。

　　“土。”司機回答。

　　“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”

　　那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實，口袋裡除了土以外，別無他特。哨兵很不情願地讓他通過了。

　　一週後，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。

　　“這次袋子裡裝的是什麼?”他問道。

　　“土，又運了一些土。”那人回答。

　　哨兵不相信，對那些袋子又進行了檢查，結果發現，除了土以外，仍舊一無所獲。

　　同樣的事情每週重演一次，一共持續了六個月。最後，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，乾脆辭職去當了酒吧 侍者。有天夜裡，那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個忙，今晚的酒就歸我請客。 你能不能告訴我，那段時間你到底在走私什麼東西?”

　　那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。”