有關簡單的英語笑話小短文

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Happiness in Dream

　　There was a wife who told her husband, Last night I dreamed you bought me a minkcoat and a diamond ring.

　　The husband put down his newspaper and said, Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them.

　　夢中的幸福

　　妻子告訴丈夫說：昨天晚上我夢見你給我買了一件裘皮大衣和一個鑽石戒指。

　　丈夫放下手中的報紙說：好啊!今晚再睡著時，你就穿戴上它們吧。

　　：Raccoons

　　Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residentsfor trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated***成雙的，成對的*** for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous***一夫一妻的***couple.

　　I don't know why she's so concerned, he added. She's been married three times.

　　浣熊

　　我在州政府魚類和野生動物部門工作時，負責向居民們出借捕浣熊的裝備。一個人捕獲了一隻獵物，他打電話來詢問浣熊是否終生只有一個伴侶。他說他的女兒擔心他們可能拆散了一對終生伴侶。

　　我不知道她為什麼這麼關心這事，他補充說，她自己已經結過三次婚了。

　　：The poor husband

　　"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the mancomplained to his friend.

　　"She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　：

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

　　But you're not wearing any of those things.

　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

　　我要讓她發瘋

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我帶著鑽石耳環、鑽石項鍊、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　“但你現在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人為尋找這些珠寶而發瘋。”

　　：Toilet Paper

　　A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were walking along the beach. A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde.

　　The brunette says in a disgusted voice, "Hang on the bathroom is just up the hill, I'll go get some toilet paper."

　　After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh.

　　The redhead says, "What's so funny?"

　　The blonde says, "Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb and look at her. By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull will be miles away!"