簡單的英語笑話短文欣賞

　　快節奏的生活和工作，給現代人們帶來了不少壓力，在工作學習之餘看看一兩個笑話或者內涵段子，不僅可以達到放鬆的作用，同時也能讓大家開懷一笑，緩解工作壓力，對提高工作效率也是很有幫助的哦!小編精心收集了簡單的英語笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單的英語笑話短文：學會禮貌

　　One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

　　一天，比爾和湯姆去餐館吃飯。當服務員端上兩份牛排時，比爾迅速地為自己拿了比較大的那塊。

　　湯姆對此很不開心：“你什麼時候能學會禮貌?”

　　比爾說：“如果讓你先拿，你會拿哪個?”

　　湯姆說：“當然是小的那個。”比爾：“那你還抱怨什麼?小的那個不就是你想要的，不是嗎?”

　　簡單的英語笑話短文：The Use of a Handsaw

　　At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.

　　Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.

　　Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.

　　The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.

　　在集市上，我和妻子買了一些五金用品，包括一個手鋸。我們返回汽車時剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嚐嚐吧，”我妻子建議說。儘管我覺得拿著鋸有點傻乎乎的，但還是隨她走了進去。 我妻子掃視了一下選單對女招待說：“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉向我，看了看我的鋸，說道：“我能看出，先生，你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”

　　簡單的英語笑話短文：Only One Eye to Settle On

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

　　姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一隻眼是假眼，你以前為什麼不告訴我?” “怎麼沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面後，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”

　　簡單的英語笑話短文：上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀!

　　Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

　　His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

　　To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

　　兩個小男孩在他們的祖父母家過夜。睡覺時間到了，這兩個小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著，“我祈求有一輛新自行車……我祈求有一個新遊戲機……我祈求有一個新錄影機……”

　　他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下，說：“你為什麼這麼大聲地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聾子。”

　　弟弟聽了回答道：“上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀!”