經典的英文笑話小短文

　　笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默。與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意違反合作原則,由此衍生出會話含意,並利用會話含意之間的衝突實現其預定功能。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Shave Head刮頭

　　Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut.

　　前些日子，有一男的來到我的理髮店，問剪一個頭要多少錢。

　　"Eight dollars," I answered.

　　“八美元，”我告訴他。

　　"And for a shave?" "Five dollars."

　　“那，刮次鬍子呢?”“五美元”。

　　"All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."

　　“那行”，那男的邊說邊坐到了理髮椅上，“來，給我刮刮頭吧”。

　　篇二

　　How could anyone stoop so low?哪有人彎腰彎那麼低的呀?

　　Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height.

　　我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。

　　Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily,

　　或者，我應該說，他是有點矮!一天，經理怒氣衝衝地撞門而入，高聲說，

　　"Someone just picked my pocket!"

　　“有人拿了我的錢包!”

　　Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

　　我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：“哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!

　　篇三

　　I'm Sure It Is Fresh 我保證它很新鮮

　　A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter, and I decided to try it.

　　鎮上開了家新餐館，我丈夫Walter和我決定去嚐嚐。

　　As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. "I'm sure it is," answered the waitress. "We've only been open two weeks."

　　女招待給我們寫菜時，Walter問餐館的咖啡是否新鮮。“絕對新鮮，”，女招待回答說，“我們才剛開了兩星期。”

　　篇四

　　An Absent-minded Professor 健忘教授

　　No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor.

　　毫無疑問，我的同事、Martin神父是個有點健忘的教授。

　　He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. 他經常到別的教區給生病的牧師替班。一個週六，他又坐火車出發了，但到驗票時，他卻怎麼都找不著放在衣服口袋裡面的火車票。

　　"Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."

　　因為老坐火車，列車員認得教授，因此對他說，“不用找了，我想你肯定已經買過票了。”“我得把票找出來”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。

　　篇五

　　lifetime warranty 終身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted.

　　在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。

　　So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

　　他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。