笑得停不下來的英文笑話

　　笑話一般是短小精悍、句子結構緊湊、運用藝術手段造成巨大的誇張和想象,使矛盾發展到最尖銳的地步,然後突然得到意外的解決,從而生成強烈的喜劇效果。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Of Course There Are Limitations 當然，凡事總有例外

　　A musician had taken to heart the old saying,"Music hath charms to soothe savage beast,"and traveled to the darkest corner of Africa in an effort to prove it.

　　一位音樂家牢記一句格言在心：“音樂有安撫野獸心靈的魅力。”為了證實這句話，他前往非洲最深處的內陸叢林旅遊。

　　No sooner had he begun to play his violin in a jungle clearing than it was full of savage beasts,swaying in rhythm and tapping their paws to the delightful sounds.

　　在叢林的一塊空地上，他一拉起小提琴，四處就擠滿了各種猛獸，跟著旋律，拍著腳掌，手舞足蹈起來。

　　Sunddenly,however,a huge lion emerged from the jungle,pounced on the violinist and made a hearty meal of him.

　　可是叢林裡突然跑出一頭大獅子，撲向小提琴家，把他當作盛餐吃掉了。

　　The other animals cried out in dismay,"Hey!We were enjoying that."

　　其他野獸大失所望，說道：“我們正在欣賞音樂哩!”

　　"Eh?"said the lion,cupping its hand to its ear.

　　“呃?”獅子彎曲手掌成杯子狀靠著耳朵說道。

　　篇二

　　Ancient Chinese Wisdom 古老的中國智慧

　　Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.

　　很久很久以前在古老的中國，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御醫都沒辦法醫治，直到後來才有一位智者透露，只有活福鳥的血才能恢復皇帝的健康。

　　Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary, and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen—but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean of change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.

　　問題是福鳥本來就很少見，幾乎只是傳說而已，於是全國各地最好的獵人都被指派進行捕捉福鳥的工作。但在他們出發之前，那名智者警告他們，要是有人有幸捉到一隻福鳥的話，無論如何在送到皇帝手中之前，絕不可以清潔或換掉身上的衣服。

　　The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter’s shoulder.

　　獵人們搜遍了整個帝國，幾個月後，其中一名本領最好的獵人不經意看見了一隻福鳥棲息在一棵樹上。他用盡所有技巧偷偷接近那隻福鳥並抓住了它的腳爪，但那隻受到驚嚇的福鳥馬上在他的肩膀上拉了一大團臭氣燻人的鳥糞。

　　Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage’s injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply embarrassed. Finally, he felt that he could not enter the emperor’s presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.

　　雖然臭味難當，但獵人仍記得智者的訓示，便連同身上的鳥糞護送福鳥回宮。那時鳥糞的味道更難聞了，獵人也覺得非常尷尬。最後他覺得不能那個樣子去見皇帝，於是他把肩膀上令人作嘔的東西擦拭掉了。

　　Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in irons.

　　就在那一刻福鳥便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加惡化，而那名獵人則立刻被關進牢中。

　　And the moral of the story: If the Foo shits, wear it!

　　這個故事的寓意就是“：福鳥在你身上拉尿，你就扛著。”

　　篇三

　　face it! 用臉去敲鐘!

　　quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of notre dame cathedral.

　　鐘樓怪人剛去世，因此教區的神父正在找一位駝背的人來敲巴黎聖母院的大鐘。

　　but the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.

　　但是第一個去應徵的不僅是駝背，而且連手也沒有。

　　“of course, i’d like to give you the job,” said the priest, “but how will you manage it?”

　　“當然，我願意給你這個工作機會，”神父說道“，可是你怎麼去敲鐘呢?”

　　“never fear,” replied the dauntless paraplegic. “just watch!”

　　“別怕，”勇敢的殘疾者答道“。待會看了你就知道。”

　　the two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face. the effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. however, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.

　　兩個人走上鐘樓，應徵者用臉撞那個大鐘，響了好一陣子，效果良好。駝子又撞了幾次。可是不久他就覺得頭暈目眩，下一次竟然落了空，掉到鐘塔外，跌死在下面的庭院裡。