高中水平英語笑話閱讀

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編整理了高中水平英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　高中水平英語笑話：Wise Cooking Advice

　　This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven't seen listed in any cookbooks.

　　While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke detectors going.

　　Then you go rushing about the house, opening all the windows, setting up fans, and generally doing everything short of calling the fire department.

　　Let the guests sit for about 1/2 hour at 50 degrees ***as a result of opening the windows*** and serve the food.

　　By this point, you have established expectations in your guests' minds that you can't fail to exceed!

　　高中水平英語笑話：Rescue

　　A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.

　　One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.

　　When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note: "Have bled to death and gone home."

　　高中水平英語笑話：Old Aunt Emma

　　A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old lady died.

　　On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."

　　His wife looked at him aghast. "*My* Aunt Emma! she cried. I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!"

　　高中水平英語笑話：Rescue

　　A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.

　　One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.

　　When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note: "Have bled to death and gone home."

　　高中水平英語笑話：Performances

　　Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers. The first woman says "My husband works as a marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that." The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."