讓人爆笑的校園英語笑話

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Compare

　　What would happen if men were to have periods? They would compare the size of their tampons.

　　：Who's Guilty?

　　A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O抍lock in the morning, a resounding noise came form outside...

　　The woman, sort of bewildered, jumps up from the bed and yells at the man:

　　- 揝hit!, that must be my husband!?

　　So the guy quickly got out of bed , scared, and naked. He jumped out the window like a crazy man, smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.

　　Just a few minutes later he returns and tells the woman:

　　- I抦 your husband, you slut!!!

　　So the woman answers:

　　- Oh, yeah?!! And why were you fucking running?!! You son of a bitch!

　　：Hubby Homing Device

　　Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?

　　Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'

　　Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out?

　　Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.

　　：Family Size

　　A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I'll have a basketball team!" said the Catholic. "That's nothing!'' said the Baptist. ''I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son and I'll have a football team!" "You both should be ashamed of yourselves!'' said the Mormon. ''I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"

　　：The Envelopes

　　The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

　　He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: "These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third."

　　The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

　　Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast.

　　After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: "Blame me, your predecessor for every thing".

　　Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy.

　　A few months later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, "Blame the government for everything".

　　It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

　　A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes to the third envelope and it reads, "Prepare 4 new envelopes".