精選少兒英語笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：二戰已經結束

　　This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest to confess.

　　"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic1, and they never found her."

　　"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by marrying me."

　　The priest contemplated2 this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly3."

　　"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"

　　"Of course, my son," said the priest.

　　The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"

　　一位年長的義大利男人來向他的神父告解。

　　他說：“神父，二戰伊始，一個美麗的猶太女人來敲我的門，要把她藏起來不讓德國人找到。我於是把她藏在閣樓裡，德國人也的確沒能找到她。”

　　“這是件好事兒啊!”神父打斷他說，“你根本沒必要為這事兒來找我告解啊!” “但後來好事兒變成了壞事兒，”這個老人繼續說到，“我不夠堅定，我告訴她因為我幫了忙所以她必須以身相許來回報我。”

　　神父想了一陣，回答說：“恩……那是個艱難的時期，你冒了很大風險。如果德國人發現你把她藏起來，你肯定會很慘。我相信，以上帝的智慧和寬容，他一定能從你的善與惡裡找的平衡，饒恕你的罪。”

　　“謝謝你神父!你這麼說我輕鬆多了!我能再問個問題嗎?”

　　“你問，孩子。”

　　“我是不是也必須告訴她二戰已經結束了呢?”

　　：零錢不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar1, I got into an argument with a prospective2customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks3 were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　I pointed4 out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents.Triumphant5, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名準備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金·納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。

　　我指出這本書儲存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢不用找了。”他說。

　　：小心有狗

　　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.

　　Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

　　"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.

　　"Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused.

　　"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

　　"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走進一家鄉間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著，“危險! 小心有狗!”

　　進去後，他看到一條樣子一點都不凶的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。

　　“這就是大夥都得留神的那隻狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。

　　“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什麼?”

　　“因為，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大夥老被他絆倒。”