兒童英語笑話精選

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：死亡訃告

　　The phone rang in the obituary***訃告*** department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed?" asked the woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

　　地方報社負責刊登死亡訃告的部門電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢?”一位女士問。“五美元一個字，太太。”書記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書記員疑惑地問道。“對，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個字。”“沒錯，你就應該告訴我，”女士有點生氣了，“現在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車。’”

　　：想請一天假

　　Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith", the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

　　一天，史密斯去見他的客戶部領導，“老闆”，斯密斯說，“我們家明天要大搞清潔，我老婆需要我回去幫忙清潔閣樓和車庫，搬搬挪挪什麼的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我們現在人手已經不夠了”老闆說，“明天的假我是沒法給你批了”。“多謝老闆，”史密斯說，“我就知道跟著您幹準沒錯”。

　　：停車費

　　A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral***抵押品*** for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?" The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"

　　一個商人走進紐約一家銀行詢問信貸員。他說他準備出差去歐洲兩個星期需要借款5000美金。信貸員說銀行借款需要提供擔保品。商人馬上掏出停在銀行門前的勞斯萊斯汽車的鑰匙。一切手續辦妥後銀行信貸員接受了汽車做為貸款的抵押。店員把汽車開到銀行地下車庫並停放在那裡。 兩個星期後商人從歐洲回來，償還了5000元借款以及15.41元的利息。信貸員問：“非常感謝您的光顧，這筆交易做得也很完美，但是我們有一個疑問，你離開後我們查了一下發現您是一個富翁。為什麼您會不怕麻煩來這借5000元呢?” 商人回答：“除了您這我還能在紐約市的其他地方只需付款15元就能停車兩個星期嗎?”