關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話大全

　　英語笑話從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。本文是關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話：I Caught Every Step

　　我一級也沒漏

　　Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.

　　Did you miss a step? asked his dad.

　　No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.

　　布朗先生在看晚報，忽然傳來一陣什麼東西從樓上摔下來的響聲。他跳了起來，跑到廳裡，發現自己上了學的兒子四角朝天地躺在地上。

　　你是不是踩漏了一級臺階?爸爸問。

　　不，我每一級都撞上了，一級也沒有漏掉!兒子痛苦地回答。

　　關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話：I Taught the Teacher

　　Mother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?"

　　"Nothing, Mum," answered the son proundly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three."

　　關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話：Train Ride

　　A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

　　The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

　　Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

　　As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

　　關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話：Going To The Bathroom

　　A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry.

　　During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

　　As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, the teacher went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one.

　　As she lifted one up by the armpits, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.

　　"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift anyhow."

　　關於簡短的爆笑英語笑話：Mosquito jokes

　　How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?

　　You slap him and he slaps you back!

　　What is the most religious insect?

　　A mosque-ito!

　　What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?

　　A morese-quito!

　　What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

　　Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!

　　What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

　　The Masked-quito!

　　What has antlers and sucks blood?

　　A moose-quito!

　　What is a mosquito's favorite sport?

　　Skin-diving!

　　What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?

　　A mosquito drops off you when you die!

　　Why are mosquitos religious?

　　They prey on you!

　　Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

　　To improve his bite!