簡短搞笑幽默英語故事

　　英語幽默故事簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣。今天小編整理了一些英語小故事，希望對大家喜歡。

　　英語幽默故事：獨自在家

　　My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.

　　我妻子獨自在家時，總是不想讓別人知道家裡沒有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子聽到有人敲門，她就沒理，但敲門的聲音總是不停，慌亂之中，她開始學狗叫。一開始她低聲地叫，隨後她的叫聲越來越大。敲門聲很快地停了，她這才鬆了口氣。

　　The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"

　　第二天，送報的小孩來我家收錢，那小孩告訴我:“我昨晚上就來了，你老婆老衝我學狗叫，我就走了。”

　　英語幽默故事：彼得的長相決定了分數

　　One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

　　我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達大學上學時，有一個學期，他的一位學藝術的朋友問他是否可以用他做素描的模特作為課堂作業。彼得同意了。那位藝術生畫完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個C-.

　　The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

　　那位藝術生找到教授問為什麼他的分數這麼低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調，教授說:“腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過於大了。”

　　The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

　　第二天，那位藝術生帶彼得見教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，並說:“好，可以得A-。”

　　英語幽默故事：名聲與艱苦勞動

　　During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.

　　海灣戰爭期間，我妹妹珍妮買了一面美國國旗，她請房子的維修工—一位越戰的老兵給她豎一根旗杆。當我妹妹為此什給他錢時，他說，他幫助掛美國國旗，無論如何都不該收錢。

　　Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.

　　珍妮來到當地報杜，就此事在報上發表了一篇文章。當珍妮第二次碰到那位維修工時，他對珍妮說他所認識的人都看了她寫的報章，是她使他成為了名人。珍妮開玩笑地說讓他給籤個名。

　　"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”

　　他回答說:“那我可沒時間，掛美國國旗的事忙得我不可開交。”

　　英語幽默故事：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　“沒有關係，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。”

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”