搞笑簡短的英語幽默故事

　　英語幽默故事簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣。今天小編整理了一些英語小故事，希望對大家喜歡。

　　英語幽默故事：同輩的壓力

　　My teen-age son，Chad，and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it，she asked him why he did it.”Peer pressure," Chad told her.

　　一天晚上，我十幾歲的兒子查理，帶著九個朋友回到家，他們都紮了耳朵眼兒。當兒子的奶奶聽說了這件事時，她問我兒子為什麼要這樣做，查理告訴她:“是同輩的壓力。”

　　"You should be a leader instead of a follower，”Grandma said.

　　奶奶說：“你應該做個領頭的，”

　　"I was,"he replied. "It was my idea.”

　　“我是個領頭的。”他回答說：“這是我的主意。”

　　英語幽默故事：聰明的鳥

　　When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "

　　一位竊賊一天夜裡闖進一個好像沒有人的空房子。突然寂靜中傳來一聲:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”

　　The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.

　　這位驚恐不安的賊又試圖再走一步，那個聲音又說:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”聽到聲音，竊絨用手電照著聲音所傳來的方向。在那邊兒，一束燈光下坐著一隻鸚鵡。

　　"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.

　　“該死的鳥，”竊賊像鬆了口氣似地罵著。

　　"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "

　　“我看見你了。”鸚鵡重複地叨嘮著:“聖人也看見你了。”

　　"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.

　　“閉嘴，”竊賊邊開燈，邊喊叫著。這時他發現一條眼光咄咄逼人的構坐在鸚鵡旁。

　　" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.

　　鸚鵡尖叫著:“聖人，撲呀!撲呀!”

　　英語幽默故事：妻子的慾望

　　A woman and her husband were out shopping when she realized that she needed to purchase some hair color for her graying hair

　　一位女士在與他的丈夫購物時，她意識到她該為她的灰白頭髮買些染髮水了。

　　"When are you going to stop buying that expensive stuff ,"complained the husband."and let your hair go gray like Barbara Bush?"

　　她丈夫抱怨說:“你什麼時候才能停止買那些昂貴的東西，而讓你的頭髮長成像芭芭拉.布什***總統夫人***的頭髮那樣灰白呢?”

　　"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied.“

　　那就要等到你就職的那天了。”妻子說。