經典大學英語笑話精選

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編精心收集了經典大學英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　經典大學英語笑話：開張大吉!

　　A young business man had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. He hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

　　一個年輕人的公司剛剛開張。他租用了漂亮的辦公室，辦公室內還放上了古董作裝飾。這天，這位年輕人正在辦公室裡面坐著，他看到一個男的走進了辦公室。為顯示他是個成功的老闆，這位年輕的生意人拿起電話假裝正在談大買賣，張嘴就是三、五個億，閉嘴就說一切搞定、沒問題!好不容易電話“打”完，掛上聽筒，年輕人問進來的那人，“您有事嗎?”那人說，“有事，我是來給你開通電話的”。

　　經典大學英語笑話：我幹得怎麼樣!

　　A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

　　一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閒逛的人，於是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這裡。”人們看了他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這裡，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎麼回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。新警察對他第一次執行公務的結果很滿意，對老警察說：“我幹得怎麼樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”

　　經典大學英語笑話：第一次與最後一次!

　　When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go." They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.

　　喬治35歲時買了架小型飛機，並開始學習駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機做各種各樣的特技飛行了。 喬治有個朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動邀請馬克乘他的飛機上天兜一圈。馬克心想，“我乘大客機飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機，我不妨試一試。” 升空後，喬治飛了有半個小時，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。 後來他們著陸了。馬克很高興能夠安全返回地面。他用顫抖的聲音對他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機做了兩次飛行。” 喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行?” “是的，我的第一次,但也絕對是最後一次。”馬克答道