初中生必讀英語小笑話

　　笑話是能引人發笑的談話或故事;供人當做笑料的事情。笑話能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：奧蘭多公車上的宣告

　　Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.

　　奧蘭多公車上的宣告。

　　"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."

　　“當您下車的時候，請務必低頭並小心腳下。”

　　"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language.Thank you."

　　“如果您踩空了並撞到您的頭了的時候，請您降低音量並注意您的用語。謝謝。”

　　：送給媽媽的禮物

　　Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.　The first said, "Ibuilt a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."Thethird smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible?And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entireBible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

　　Soonthereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.

　　She wrote one son, "the house you built isso huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."　She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use theMercedes."

　　"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to knowwhat your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

　　三個兒子商量給年邁的媽媽買什麼禮物好。

　　大兒子說，“我給媽媽建一幢大房子。”二兒子說，“我給她買一輛賓士。”三兒子笑著說，“你們的禮物都不好。還記得媽媽多喜歡讀聖經嗎?現在她視力不大好看不了了。我送她一隻鸚鵡，會背誦聖經的。媽媽只要起個頭，它就可以接著背下去。”　　不久之後，媽媽分別給三人發了感謝信。她給大兒子寫道，“你建的房子太大了，我只能住一間屋，可是要打掃整幢房子的衛生。”她給二兒子寫道，“我太老了，沒法出門旅行。大部分時間呆在家裡，很少用車。”“親愛的，”她跟小兒子說，“媽媽的心思你最明白，那隻小鳥的味道美極了。”

　　：籃球教練的心理學測試

　　The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oraltest.

　　一位剛剛做完一場有關心理健康講座的心理學指導老師，正在進行一個口頭測試。

　　Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patientwho walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chairweeping uncontrollably the next?"

　　測試主題定為躁狂抑鬱症，她問道：“你將怎樣診斷這樣的一個病人，他先是來回走著並大聲叫喊了一分鐘，然後坐在一張椅子上失控般地哭泣。”

　　A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

　　一個坐在後面的年輕人舉手答道：“他是一個籃球教練?”