初中生簡單的英語小笑話

　　多講點笑話，以幽默的態度處事，這樣子日子會好過一點。笑話可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對於美好生活的期盼和訴求。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Two ladies were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

　　兩個女人逛商場的時候討論起她們的家庭生活，一個說道：

　　"Seems like all Alfred and I do is fight. I've been so upset that I've lost 20 pounds."

　　”好像在我和阿爾弗雷德之間就只有爭吵了，搞得我心煩意亂，為此我已經瘦了20磅了。“

　　"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

　　”那你為什麼不乾脆離開他啊?“她朋友問道。

　　"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

　　”嗯!還不可以。“第一個女人回答，”我想先再瘦15磅再說。

　　篇2

　　As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard hiswife'svoiceurgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going thewrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

　　一個老人駕車在高速路上疾馳，這時他的車載電話響了。接通後，電話中傳出他老婆焦急的聲音，“赫爾曼，剛剛新聞說280號公路上有輛車逆行，你要小心啊!”

　　"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

　　“該死的，”赫爾曼說，“誰說只有一輛啊!簡直有上百輛!”

　　篇3

　　A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that theyhad ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully dividedthe hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had halfof them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of hiswife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

　　一個年輕人在麥當勞裡看見一對年邁的夫婦在吃午餐。他發現那對夫婦只點了單人餐，還要了一個空杯子。年輕人看見丈夫認真地把漢堡分成兩半，把薯條一根一根數出來同樣放成兩堆，一份給自己，一份放在妻子面前。之後丈夫把飲料一半倒到空杯子裡，同樣放到妻子面前。這時丈夫開始吃了，而妻子卻把手攤在膝蓋上，在一旁看著。

　　The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them sothat they didn't have to split theirs.

　　年輕人決定上前請那對夫婦允許他為他們再買一份單人餐，這樣他們就不用分一份了。

　　The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always beenand will always be shared, 50/50."

　　丈夫說道：“哦，不用了。我們已經結婚50年了，所有的東西我們都會一起分享，對半兒分。”

　　The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn withthe teeth."

　　然後年輕人問妻子她為什麼不吃，她說：“這回他先用假牙。”