兩分鐘之內的英文笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Gone Shopping

　　購物

　　Our supermarket had a sald on boneless chicken breasts,and a woman I know ontended tostock up .

　　我們的超級市，場在廉價拍賣無骨雞胸，我認識的某位女士打算去多買一些。

　　At the store,However,she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portopnsof the poultry,

　　然而，到了這家肉店的時候她感到很失望，因為只找到一點點事先就包裝好的雞肉，

　　so she complained to the butcher.

　　所以她就向這位肉店老闆抱怨。

　　"don't worry,lady," he said.

　　他說：“小姐，別擔心，

　　"I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

　　我會替你多包幾盤，在你買完東西的時候把它們準備好。”

　　Several aisles later ,my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over th public-address system:

　　逛完幾個走道之後，我的朋友聽到肉店老闆的聲音透過公共廣播系統隆隆地說

　　"Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?"

　　“那位想要大胸部的小姐請到本店後方來見我好嗎?”

　　：For the Dog

　　The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

　　"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

　　"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

　　喂狗

　　一家人在飯館裡吃過晚飯，父親把服務生叫了過來。

　　‘先生，什麼事?“服務生問。 ’

　　我兒子的盤子裡剩下許多肉，“父親說，

　　‘能給我們一個袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。’

　　‘啊呀，爸爸!’兒子激動地叫喊著。‘咱家養狗了嗎? ’

　　：Hogarth

　　The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.

　　What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of thecelebrated passage.

　　That's it, replied Hogarth.

　　But, where are the Israelites?

　　They are all gone over.

　　Where are the Egyptians?

　　They're all drowned.

　　霍迦斯

　　一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現了問題。霍迪斯發現，完成這幅畫後，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當作品完成之後，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂塗抹的一片鮮紅。

　　這是什麼?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。

　　這就是，霍迦斯回答說。

　　可是以色列人在哪兒?

　　他們都已經渡過去了。

　　埃及人在哪兒?

　　他們全都淹死了。