關於中學生好笑的英語笑話

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：FATHER FORGIVE ME...

　　A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost.""What do you mean almost?" question the priest."Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.""Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave.The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, "I saw that... you didn't put any money in the poor box!""Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it's the same as putting it in!"

　　：PRAYING FOR SOME BIRDS

　　A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, l have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

　　"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

　　"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

　　"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship."

　　"Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

　　The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

　　One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!"

　　：A HOT DAY AT THE NUNNERY

　　Three nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat. Not an unusual habit ***groan*** on a hot day.

　　So about a half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped over pews clear across the huge chapel. They ask who it is.

　　"The blind man," a voice replies. The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is blind.

　　He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice tits! Where do you want me to install these blinds?"

　　：PASSING OUT THE OFFERING PLATEA

　　pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns.

　　After the offering plates were passed about the church, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had graciously offered a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

　　A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady in the back of the church shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front, so she slowly she made her way towards him. The pastor told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much, and in thanks he asked her to pick out three hymns.

　　Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation. She pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, "I'll take him and him and him."