高一水平英語笑話大全

　　笑話能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,同時,笑話也可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對於美好生活的期盼和訴求。本文是高一水平英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　高一水平英語笑話篇一

　　THE PRIEST WHO LOST HIS COCK

　　A priest had lost his cock ***Male hen*** and didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next day he asked, "Has anybody got the cock?" All the men stood up.

　　"No! no! I mean has anybody seen the cock?" All the women folk stood up.

　　"No! no! I mean has anybody seen my cock?" All the nuns stood up.

　　高一水平英語笑話篇二

　　THE JEWISH BEGGAR

　　An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?"

　　And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?"

　　And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"

　　高一水平英語笑話篇三

　　THE BLIND MAN AND THE RABBI

　　A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi sits down next to him. The rabbi is chompingon a piece of matzah. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.

　　Several minutes later, the blind man turns taps the rabbi on the shoulder and asks, "Who wrote this shit?"

　　高一水平英語笑話篇四

　　THE RABBI AND THE POPE DO PHONE

　　The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusally fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers. "What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff.

　　"It's my direct line to the Lord." The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds alengthy discussion with Him.

　　After hanging up the Rabbi says, "Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for my phone charges." The Pope, of course, refuses, but the Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in.

　　He checks the counter on the phone and says, "All right! The charges were 100,000 Lira" ***$56***. The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over the payment.

　　A few months later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In The the Chief Rabbi's chambers, he sees a phone identical to his and learns it is also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi's phone. The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away.

　　After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges. Of course, the Chief Rabbi refuses to accept payment. After the Pope insists, the Rabbi relents and looks on the phone counter.Shekel 50" ***$0.42***.

　　The Pope looks surprised, "Why so cheap?"

　　The Rabbi smiles, "Local call."

　　高一水平英語笑話篇五

　　NOW, THAT REMINDS ME

　　There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was so the first priest said, "I don't know, but I think it got stolen!" The other priest said, "Well what you do is read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" someone will confess to the crime." The next time the two saw each other the priest had his bicycle back. "I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?" the one priest said. The other said, "Well kind of, when I was reading the commandments and I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, I seemed to remember where I had left it."