高水平的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編分享高水平的英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　高水平的英語笑話：THE LAST TWO GIFTS OF CREATION

　　Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

　　"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."

　　Before God had a chance to explain any further, Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to, please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals. I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..." Adam went on and on like an excited little boy who had to pee.

　　Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability.

　　And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection while in avertical position. And so, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.

　　"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms..."

　　高水平的英語笑話：LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET?

　　This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you."

　　The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.

　　With a frown his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."

　　高水平的英語笑話：IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES

　　Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"

　　"I've been circumcised."

　　"What's that mean?"

　　"It means they cut the skin off the end."

　　"How old were you when it was cut off?"

　　"My mom said I was two days old."

　　"Did it hurt?"

　　"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

　　高水平的英語笑話：SEX ON THE SABBATH

　　A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath."

　　The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"

　　He goes to minister... a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of year's tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.

　　The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play."

　　The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

　　The rabbi softly speaks, " If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."