經典英語課堂笑話大全

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。下面是小編帶來的經典英語課堂笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇一

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

　　在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇二

　　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎。”

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇三

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇四

　　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?"

　　一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"

　　"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim."

　　不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇五

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇六

　　The Preacher Buys a Parrot

　　傳教士買鸚鵡

　　A preacher is buying a parrot.

　　一個傳教士在買鸚鵡。

　　"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

　　“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。

　　"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

　　“噢，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主向他保證。

　　"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

　　“你看見它腿上的那些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右邊這根，它會背誦天主經;當你拉動左邊那根，它會背誦讚美詩。”

　　"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

　　“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩根繩子，會發生什麼呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　“我會從樹幹上掉下去，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　經典英語課堂笑話篇七

　　Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

　　我在郵局上班，對於顧客們的各種情緒早已習以為常了。所以，有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什麼問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家。可是我的丈夫整個早上都在家啊。他說他什麼都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之後，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形於色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什麼好東西?”我問。“我丈夫的新助聽器”。