有關搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。它與傳統的笑話不同，有其獨特的產生和理解方式。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Where are the tails? 尾巴哪去了?

　　The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours, then he started again, and said he: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question -- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"

　　"I'll venture an answer," said an old lady, "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

　　教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那麼現在尾巴到哪裡去了?”

　　“我來試試看，”一位老太太說， “該是我們在這裡坐這麼久把它們磨掉了吧。”

　　：Sorry 對不起

　　"I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."

　　"Twenty dollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"

　　"Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."

　　“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

　　“20美元!為什麼?不是說好只要4美元。”

　　“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”

　　：Are Flies Yummy? 蒼蠅好吃嗎?

　　Tony and his father are eating dinner.

　　Suddenly Tony asks his father, "Dad, are flies yummy?"

　　Dad frowns and says, "No, I think it's yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It's a silly question."

　　But Tony says, "There was one fly in your plate."

　　託尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

　　突然，託尼問他的爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎?”

　　爸爸皺眉說：“我想不好吃。你怎麼會問這個問題?這可是一個愚蠢的問題。”

　　可是託尼說：“剛才你盤子裡有一隻蒼蠅。”

　　：A Forgetful Man 健忘

　　Tom was tired out, and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.

　　Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening. As he could not remember what it was, he tossed and turned in his bed for along time.

　　Finally the thing came to his mind, "My God, the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.

　　湯姆很累，一到家就上床睡覺。

　　忽然，他想起原來晩上計劃做一件事，可他想不起來是什麼事，他輾轉反側了很長時間 。

　　最後他突然想起來了，“上帝，我原來的計劃就是早點兒上床睡覺!”他頹喪地自言自語道。

　　：It's Good to Admit a Fault 認錯

　　John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

　　"John!" Teacher says angrily.

　　"What? What's wrong?" John is awaken.

　　"Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says.

　　"No one is laughing." Teacher says.

　　"No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset.

　　"Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.

　　約翰並不是個“好”學生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。

　　“約翰!”老師生氣地喊他。

　　“什麼?出什麼事了?”約翰醒了。

　　“你為什麼要做鬼臉?這是教室!看看!同學們都在笑!”老師生氣地說。

　　“沒有人在笑呀。”其他同學笑聲地嘀咕。

　　“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。

　　“嗯，還不錯。你承認自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。