一分鐘英語笑話帶翻譯

　　從維吾爾族“藍提盤”原意看，“藍提盤”在維語中意指笑話。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　摘抄

　　牧師如何對付蝙蝠

　　Three pastors

　　三個牧師的故事

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything—noise, spray, cats—nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've been had the place fumigated, and they still won't go away. The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven't seen one back since!

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法——噪音、噴霧、貓——似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。” 另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。” 第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員……從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”

　　鑑賞

　　湯姆上學遲到的原因

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

　　老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到?

　　湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著：學校——慢行。

　　賞析

　　袋鼠到底能跳過高

　　The ability of the Kangaroo

　　The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the nextmorning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increasedto 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the heightincreased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped.

　　A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"

　　"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gateunlocked.

　　袋鼠的能力

　　動物園為剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的八英尺高的圍牆。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍牆外面蹦跳著。於是圍牆高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍牆高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。

　　一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認為他們會把圍牆建到多高?”

　　“我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開著大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”

　　欣賞

　　孩子誤吞硬幣怎麼辦?

　　Keep feeding him nickels

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediatelypicked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed uptwo dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside.

　　"Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "

　　Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　再喂他幾枚五分鎳幣

　　母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進嘴裡吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的後背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣。

　　她發狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎麼辦呢?”

　　孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”

　　品味

　　考試中的"一分一美元"

　　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests andwent back to his desk to wait.

　　一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然後回到講臺前等待。

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed thatone of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

　　考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上彆著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著："一分一塊錢。"

　　The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64change.

　　第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。