小學的簡單的英語笑話短文

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Okay, this is an actual episode of the Newlywed Game.

　　這是在新婚夫婦間進行遊戲時發生的真實插曲。

　　The question was "What is your husband's favorite South American country?"

　　問題是:“說出你的丈夫最喜歡的一個南美洲的國家。”

　　The first wife answered Brazil.

　　第一個妻子的回答是巴西。

　　The second wife was a bit puzzled as to what the term "South American" meant. She answered "New Mexico.” The MC explained to her that that was an U. S. state, not a South American country. Still confused as to what this strange adjective" South American" meant, she answered "Mexico.”

　　第二個妻子對南美洲的概念不是很清楚，她答道:“新墨西哥”。婚禮主持人向她解釋說那只是美國的一個州而不是南美的城市。但她還是沒弄清楚哪是“南美洲”，於是回答:“那就是墨西哥”。

　　The third wife was sure of her answer. She wasn't as confused as wife number two and showed it. When it came time to give her answer, she answered very confidently "I know what my husband’s favorite South American country is: it's Africa” The MC allowed it.

　　第三個妻子對自己的回答顯得胸有成竹，她不像剛才那個妻子那樣感到困惑不解，當輪到她回答時，她信心百倍地說:“我丈夫最喜歡的南美洲國家是非洲!”主持人點了點頭。

　　The fourth wife answered "Mexico" as well.

　　第四個妻子的答案同樣是“墨西哥”。

　　The only husband to give the same answer as his wife was the fourth, who answered "Mexico.”

　　只有一位丈夫—第四位妻子的丈夫—給出了同妻子一樣的答案:“墨西哥”。

　　篇2

　　Scene一A grade one classroom on a warm summer afternoon.

　　場景:夏天一個炎熱的下午，一年級的教室裡。

　　Teacher: We are going to have a spelling competition this afternoon. Anyone who can spell a word correctly can go home early. We’11 start with Mary. What did you do at lunchtime?

　　老師問:“今天下午我們來進行一場拼詞比賽。誰能準確無誤地拼出一個單詞就可以早回家了。我們先從瑪莉開始，你午飯時間去幹什麼了?”

　　Mary: I played in the sandpit.

　　瑪莉回答:“我在沙坑裡玩。”

　　Teacher: Mary, can you spell "pit?"

　　老師說:“瑪莉你可以拼寫‘沙坑’這個詞嗎?”

　　Mary: P …I … T?

　　瑪莉: "P. . . I. . . T?"

　　Teacher: Very good，you may go. Now Tommy , what did you do at lunch?

　　老師:“非常好，你可以走了。現在輪到湯米了，你午飯時間都幹什麼了?”

　　Tommy: I was playing with my toy car.

　　湯米:“我在玩我的玩具車。”

　　Teacher: Tommy，can you spell "car"?

　　老師:“那你會拼‘車’這個詞嗎?”

　　Tommy: C…A …R

　　湯米:"C. . . A. . . R"

　　Teacher: Very good，you may go. Now Johnny, why are you crying?

　　老師:“非常好，你也可以走了。下一個，約翰尼，你為什麼哭呀?”

　　Johnny***sniff***: Because Tommy and Mary wouldn’t play with me at lunchtime， just because I'm black.

　　約翰尼***抽泣***:“湯米和瑪莉都不和我玩，就因為我是個黑人。”

　　Teacher: My God. That's racial prejudice. Johnny，can you spell "racial prejudice?"

　　老師:“上帝呀，這簡直就是種族歧視，好了約翰尼，你能把‘種族歧視’拼出來嗎?”

　　篇3

　　Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day，enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a Nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

　　一天，亞瑟正坐在當地酒吧的外面，享受著啤酒的美味，逍遙自得。這時一個修女突然出現在他的桌前，開始譴責飲酒所帶來的罪惡。

　　"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a the blood of the devil!”

　　“年輕人。你應該為你自己而感到恥辱!喝酒是一種罪過!酒精就像是魔鬼的鮮血!”

　　Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this，and goes on the offensive. "How do you know Sister?"

　　這時亞瑟感到有些厭煩就開始辯解:“大姐你是怎麼知道的?”

　　"My Mother Superior told me so.”

　　“我們修道院的院長這麼告訴我的。”

　　"But have you ever had a drink yourself`? How can you he sure that what you are saying is right?"

　　“但是你自己從來沒有喝過，你怎麼就知道你說的是正確的呢?”

　　"Don’t be ridiculous一of course I have never taken alcohol myself.”

　　“別開玩笑了，我自己當然沒有沾過酒了。”

　　"Then let me buy you a drink，一if you still believe afterwards that it is evil 1 will give up drink for life.”

　　“那麼我請你喝一杯吧。如果你嘗過之後還是那麼認為，我就一生不再飲酒。”

　　"How could I，a Nun，sit outside this public house drinking?!”

　　“我，一個修女，怎麼能這樣做?坐在酒吧外面喝酒?!”

　　"I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you , then no one will know.”

　　“我會叫服務員把酒倒在茶杯裡的，沒有人會知道。”

　　The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Arthur goes inside to the bar.

　　那個修女極其不情願的同意了。然後亞瑟走進了酒吧。

　　"Another pint for me, and a vodka,” then he lowers his voice and says to the barman，"and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

　　“再給我來一杯啤酒和一杯伏特加”，他壓低他的嗓音對服務員說，“你能不能把伏特加酒倒在一個茶杯裡?”

　　"Oh no! It’s not that bloody Nun again is it?"

　　“噢，天哪!是不是那個魔鬼之血’的修女又來騙酒喝了?”