英語小笑話短文及翻譯

　　笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：等警察來

　　Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident，have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished，but amazingly，neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.

　　一天，山姆和一個神父都在開車，發生了一起反常的事故，他們倆的車頭對頭猛撞到一起。兩輛車全毀了，但是意外的是倆個人都毫髮未傷。

　　After the crawl out of their cars，Sam sees the priest’s collar and says，"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”

　　他們從各自的車裡爬出來後，山姆看到神父的領子說:“原來你是神父，我叫山姆。看看我們的車，全完了。然而我們還在這裡，沒有受傷。這一定是上帝的旨意!”

　　Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely，God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”

　　山姆看著他的車說:“快來看看這兒，還有一個奇蹟!我的車全毀了，但這瓶酒還沒有碎。上帝肯定是想讓我們喝掉它來慶祝我們的好運。

　　The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest，who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on，then hands it back to the priest. The priest，baffled, asks，"Aren’t you having any，Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”

　　神父點頭同意了。山姆把酒交給神父，神父喝了一半然後又把酒還給山姆。他接過酒瓶迅速把瓶蓋蓋上，又把它給了神父。神父不解地問:“難道你不喝嗎?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯，我想我還是等著警察來吧。”

　　：原來如此

　　I once lived in Arizona near Fort Huachuca, an army installation. Our street consisted mainly of mobile homes with small yards，but grass was difficult to grow in that climate, especially with the many children and dogs romping through the neighborhood. One lawn stood out. however. It was green and lush with neat rows of flowers. I was puzzled how the owner managed to do it until I noticed a sign in the yard. It read: "Danger一Minefield.”

　　我在亞利桑那州化奇卡要塞附近的一個軍隊駐紮地住過一段時間。街道兩邊主要是帶有小型庭院的移動房屋，但是由於氣候的原因，尤其是許多頑童還有狗四處亂竄，所以青草很難生長。然而，有一片草地倖免於難，長得鬱鬱蔥蔥，還間隔著一排排鮮花。讓我疑惑不已的是主人用了什麼妙方呢?當我注意到放在庭院裡的一塊牌子時就不覺得奇怪了，上面寫著:“危險—雷區。”

　　：寄給上帝的信

　　一個小男孩非常想要一百美元買一輛自行車，但是祈禱了兩個星期也沒有結果。於是，他決定給上帝寫一封信要這一百美元。當郵局收到這封收信人為“美國，上帝”的信後，他們決定把它寄給美國總統。總統很重視，也很感動。他命令他的祕書寄給個小男孩五美元紙鈔。總統認為這對於一個小男孩來說應該是一筆大錢了。這個小男孩收到這五美元后非常高興，又坐下來給上帝寫了一封感謝信，信中寫道:

　　A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:

　　親愛的上帝:

　　Dear Lord，

　　非常感謝你寄給我的錢。可是我發現，由於某種原因您通過華盛頓寄給我的錢，像往常一樣，那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。

　　Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.

　　羅傑

　　Love,Roger