關於短的英文笑話大全

　　笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。本文是關於短的英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於短的英文笑話：EMERGENCY IN THE VET'S OFFICE

　　A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

　　The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

　　The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

　　The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

　　The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

　　The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

　　The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

　　The vet answers, "$650."

　　"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man.

　　"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

　　關於短的英文笑話：A TRIP TO THE CINEMA

　　A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, "That's truly amazing!""It certainly is" The dog owner replied, "He hated the book!"

　　關於短的英文笑話：AT THE GORILLA ENCLOSURE

　　It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a couple are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a loose-fitting, spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

　　As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes mad. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand, hegrunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

　　The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny, and suggests that his wife teases the poor creature some more. He gets her to pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at the ape, and play along. She does, and the Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

　　Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and the Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.

　　"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him," he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and he starts doing flips. With that, the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.

　　"Now, tell HIM you have a headache."

　　關於短的英文笑話：BEYOND ALL TRACK RECORDS

　　Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

　　Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

　　"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

　　At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

　　The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

　　關於短的英文笑話：THE SMELL OF FRESH BLOOD

　　A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

　　He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

　　"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

　　Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

　　"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

　　"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

　　"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"