經典英語冷笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話由於其滑稽可笑的特點而為人們長久以來所喜愛。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：今晚從牛津滾出去

　　a crowd of student was gathered on the campus of oxford university. “you can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, i’ll leave oxford this very evening!”

　　一群學生聚在牛津的校園裡，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個傢伙不收回他今早對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”

　　a buzzing noise followed. “what a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “how should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

　　下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支援他、學習他。”

　　suddenly, a girl asked, “what did the dean say to you, hob?”

　　突然，一個女孩問道：“那傢伙對你說什麼了，霍波?”

　　he bent and whispered to her, “well,er???er???miss rose, er???he told me to get clean away from oxford this very evening!”

　　他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　：這隻狗可真夠長的

　　Once there was a blind.

　　從前有個瞎子。

　　One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping.

　　一天，他正在行路時踩著了一隻正在睡覺的狗的腦袋

　　The dog barked for a while.

　　狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。

　　The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked.

　　這人又往前走，這回踩著的是另外一隻狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。

　　The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

　　瞎子以為還是那條狗，驚詫地說：奇怪，這隻狗可真夠長的。

　　：還有沒有便宜一點兒東西

　　A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store.

　　一個小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一隻手錶的時候被當場擒獲。

　　"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either.

　　“聽著，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。

　　What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

　　我把這隻表買下，然後我們就當什麼也沒發生，你看怎樣?”

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip.

　　經理表示同意，然後列了一張售貨單。

　　The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

　　小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預算稍稍高了一點，你們還有沒有便宜一點兒東西。”

　　：沒把頭髮全剪掉啊

　　miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

　　麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。

　　"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

　　"你好，麥爾斯，"經理說。"我看到你在上班時間理髮了。"

　　"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."

　　"是的，先生。正是這樣。"麥爾斯平靜地承認了。"可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。"

　　"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."

　　"不全都是吧，"經理立刻說，"有一些是在你自己的時間裡長的。"

　　"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."

　　"對呀，先生，你說得很對。"麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，"但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。"

　　
看了""的人還看了：