小學英語笑話故事精選

　　英語笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式，每個民族都擁有專屬於自己的笑話文化。小編整理了小學英語笑話故事，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學英語笑話故事：Long Life

　　A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.

　　Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.

　　Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.

　　"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."

　　"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."

　　Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.

　　One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"

　　Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "

　　"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "

　　The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"

　　“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."

　　長生不老

　　一人在集市賣藥。起先他賣一美元一瓶的治感冒的藥。

　　很多人想買藥，那人的年輕助手迅速穿行於人群中，一邊收錢，一邊遞藥。

　　然後當圍觀的人多起來時，那人舉起一個小瓶子。

　　“聽著，女士們，先生們，”那人喊道，“這就是你們一直想要的藥。

　　消除衰老的藥。只吃一瓶，就會長生不老。”

　　“女士們，先生們，”那人接著說道，“對這種神奇的藥，我不打算賣一瓶100美元。我不打算賣一瓶50美元，我也不打算賣一瓶25美元。我只打算賣一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友們，只花10美元，你們就能長生不老。”

　　人群中大多數人不相信他的話。

　　一人喊道：“如果這藥能使人長生不老，你為什麼不吃?”

　　接著另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60歲。”

　　“謝謝，先生，謝謝，”那人回答，“我很高興你這麼說。我的實際年齡是329歲。”

　　聽到他的話，人群中發出一陣笑聲，但仍有幾個人願意相信他的話。其中一人當那個助手經過時問她，“他已329歲了，這是真的嗎?”他問。

　　“別問我，”助手說，“我只為他工作了150年。”

　　小學英語笑話故事：A Mistake

　　An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

　　"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

　　"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

　　"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

　　搞錯了

　　一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。”

　　“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

　　“其他人在哪兒?”一名醫生問道。

　　“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”

　　小學英語笑話故事：Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

　　"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

　　偉大的獵手Jonesie

　　有個小村莊正為一隻吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這隻野獸。

　　獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只羊然後把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

　　半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

　　“Jonesie，怎麼了?獅子在哪?”村長問。

　　“哪有獅子!”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了?”