小學生簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　所謂兵不厭詐，就是要利用一切可利用的手段去打倒敵人，不要怕被別人笑話。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：12 Post Cards

　　My teen-age daughter was preparing to return home after having visited her grandparents for afew weeks one summer. Her grandfather gave her 12 post cards .

　　"Here, write us a few lines every month," he said.

　　Months passed and the cards remained unused-that is until the day this letter arrived:

　　"Dear Jennifer,

　　Life is a series of stages.

　　As a child, I looked forward to becoming a teenager-that happened.

　　As a teen-ager ,I looked forward to becoming a young man-that happened.

　　As a young man, I looked forward to meeting a young woman, in love and becoming amarried man-that happened.

　　As a married man, I looked forward to becoming a father-that happened.

　　As a father, I looked forward to becoming a grandfather to beautiful ,intelligentgrandchildren-that happened.

　　Then I looked forward to the day they would learn to write-that hasn't happened yet.

　　Yours Sincerely"

　　十二張卡片

　　一個夏天，我十多歲的女兒在她祖父母家過了幾周。她準備回家時，祖父給了她十二張卡片。

　　“每月給我們來個簡訊，”他說。

　　幾個月過去了，可卡片一直放在那兒沒用----直到有一天來了這樣一封信：

　　“親愛的詹妮芙：

　　生活是一系列階段組成的。

　　還是個孩子的時候，我期待著成為一個青少年----我如願以償了。

　　還是個年輕人的時候，我期待著遇到一個年輕的女人，戀愛、結婚----我如願以償了。

　　結了婚，我便期待著成為一個父親----我如願以償了。

　　作為父親，我期待著成為一個祖父，有漂亮、聰明的孫兒孫女----我也如願以償了。

　　接著，我期待著有一天他們能給我寫信----我卻還沒有如願以償。

　　：A Stubborn Horse

　　The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:

　　"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed."

　　"Stubborn horse," explained the writer.

　　倔強的馬

　　大作家瘋了，但現在似乎還有恢復的希望。六個月以來，他都坐在打字機旁用力地敲一部小說。終於，他宣稱書已寫好並把它拿到精神病醫生那裡。醫生急切地大聲朗讀起來：

　　“傑克遜將軍跨上他的忠實的馬，喊道：‘駕，駕，駕，駕……’”醫生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百頁紙竟全是‘駕，駕’!”他驚奇地說。

　　“是匹倔強的馬，”作家解釋道。

　　：Praise the Lord

　　Then there was the preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was impressedwith the animal, but the preacher said, " I must warn you-he only responds to 'church talk'. Gois 'Praise the Lord', and stop is 'Hallelujah"'.

　　"I've worked with horses all my life," said the buyer, "and I've never heard of anything likethis." Mounting the horse, he said skeptically, " Praise the Lord." The horse began to trot. Herepeated "Praise the Lord" and the horse broke into a gallop. Suddenly the buyer saw a cliffdead ahead. Frantic, he yelled "Hallelujah", and they came to a stop a foot from the edge.

　　Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"

　　欲買馬之人

　　傳教士決定賣掉他的馬。一位欲買馬之人看中了這匹馬，但傳教士說：“我必須警告你----他只懂‘教堂語言’。走是‘感謝上帝’，停是‘哈里路亞’。”

　　“我一生都在同馬打交道，”買馬之人說，“這樣的事我還是頭一次聽到。”他跨上馬，將信將疑地說：“感謝上帝。”馬開始小跑。他重複說“感謝上帝”，馬開始飛奔起來。突然買馬者看到前面是一個懸崖。他嚇壞了，匆忙喊道：“哈里路亞。”他們在離懸崖只有一英尺的地方停了下來。

　　買馬之人擦了擦額頭上的汗珠，說道：“感謝上帝!”