初一英語笑話小故事

　　笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：我能得到什麼?

　　What do I get? 

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，我能得到幾塊兒?

　　湯米：四塊。

　　老師：那我要是再切兩次，我能得到什麼呢?

　　湯米：漢堡。

　　：早慧的小男孩

　　A precocious boy 

　　A little boy was wise beyond his age. One day he came home from the public library with a book. Its title was "The Care and Management of Children".

　　"Oh, my god," exclaimed his mother in astonishment. "What are you doing with a book like that?"

　　"Oh, " replied the precocious***早熟的***boy, "I want to see if I'm being brought up properly."

　　一個早慧的小男孩有一天從公共圖書館回家時帶回一本書，書名是《對兒童的照料和管理》。

　　他的母親驚訝得大叫道：“啊，我的天哪!你要這樣的書幹什麼呢?”

　　這個早慧的孩子回答說：“哦，我想看看我是否是在受到正確的教養。”

　　：Soul Seeking At A Cemetery

　　On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside thecemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

　　Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

　　He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

　　The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

　　The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."

　　Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

　　At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

　　They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

　　：Lot's Wife

　　The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!

　　：Good Samaritan

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.

　　Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

　　A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."